I recently taught a Foundations of Coaching class to a group of professionals in Philadelphia. The participants quickly realized how challenging it can be to ask questions instead of tell others what to do. Why is the coaching skill of asking questions relevant for the workplace? And how can asking questions support greater understanding and empowerment for you and others to enhance critical stakeholder relationships and career success? Read on to find out!

Many of my clients at all levels of leadership have to intentionally practice shifting their communication style from talking to listening. It can be uncomfortable at first, especially when you are used to being the expert in the room. But learning to ask powerful open questions yields numerous dividends when it comes to gathering more information about key stakeholders. Asking questions also helps develop greater trust that can be leveraged for collaboration and mutual benefit.

For example, one of my c-level clients noticed that she was speaking 70% on average in her meetings with direct reports and peers. As a result, her 360-feedback revealed that those around her felt misunderstood, were frustrated they did not have a chance to share their point in meetings, and some even felt disengaged enough to consider leaving the company. Another younger high-performing client of mine realized his high level of energy resulted in him dominating a majority of his workplace conversations, unintentionally making others feel left out. In both cases, these clients engaged in an experiment where they practiced asking more questions to give others a chance to speak and share their ideas.

In the beginning of shifting your communication style, you may begin to realize — like my clients did — that there are many different types of questions.

• Closed questions are typically very specific questions that one can answer with a yes or no, or a more precise answer. For example: “Did you submit that report already?” Or, “What time did you submit the report?”
• Leading questions are ones where the person asking the question plants the seed for the kind of answer they’re looking for by including key details in the wording of the question. For example: “How did it go with finishing up that report?” Or, “What did you learn towards the end of wrapping up that project report?”
• Open questions are those that provide a lot more freedom for the respondent to share their thoughts. Such as: “How are things going for you?” Or, “What ideas would you like to share?” Open questions are often the most powerful, and can position you to elicit the richest and sometimes most unexpected and useful information.

All questions can be effective questions if you are intentional in your wording and know why you are asking them. But often we habitually ask closed questions that bring a quick halt to the conversation and provide zero opportunity to engage the other in dialogue or relationship building.

In the case of my c-level client, after practicing asking more questions in her meetings, she quickly realized how much information she had been missing—about critical issues outside the formal agenda that indirectly impacted the focus of her work, about peoples’ well-being, and… this last piece was a rewarding surprise for her… she had been missing opportunities to delegate work to others who genuinely wanted to learn from her and prepare for a next role. That led to her freeing up time for more strategic work, board-level relationship building, and participating in industry events that gave her greater visibility for advancing her career.

For my younger high performing client, she had some similar realizations after changing up her approach. But for her, the types of information she began to learn turned out to be important for getting ahead of simple problems on her team and also mining opportunities to evolve key processes that were causing frustration and late-night hours for the product side of her team.

Similarly, in that Foundations of Coaching class I recently taught, the participants quickly discovered how often in the past they had actually been advising people on what they should do, by giving directive suggestions — sharing what they themselves thought would be best for the other person — rather than taking a coaching approach by asking others questions and empowering them to come up with their own ideas.

Why is this coaching tip relevant for both rising leaders and established leaders? When you take a coach approach to communicating with colleagues at work, you lean more into asking questions to invite others to talk. You don’t assume you already know the answer. You empower others to generate ideas, build their own knowledge, and solve problems more independently. You disrupt your default pattern of telling others what to do. And the more you can practice asking truly open questions, the more unexpected or relationship- and career-enhancing information you may learn.

PUT THIS TIP IN ACTION

In your next conversation at work, whether one-on-one or in a group meeting, ASK MORE QUESTIONS and discover what a difference this approach can make in what you learn and how you engage others.