Stressful effort is no fun. It’s full of resistance and tension and drama.
But what about Effortless Effort? Is that possible?
Yes, it is.
How?3 steps: Align, Let Go, Focus.
1. When you know WHY you are doing something, and you can see HOW it connects to your BIG “why”, then you are in ALIGNMENT. What is your BIG “why”? You know, the vision that you have for your life and your work.
2. When you reduce (or LET GO of) your unrealistic expectations, you have less to worry about and you feel more steady and confident about what you DO complete. You do know what your unrealistic expectations are, don’t you?
3. When you FOCUS on the task at hand, and create healthy boundaries to keep out unnecessary distractions, you are WAY MORE productive…and you experience greater satisfaction.
Need support to clarify your big “why”, to identify and let go of unrealistic expectations, or to create healthy boundaries to reduce distractions? Call me 215-771-8968 or email me! I’d love to partner with you to create the kind of positively transformational results my other clients have experienced.
You lose out on better opportunities when you are caught up in the intense realities of the daily grind.
So how can you shift gears and get some perspective?
Lean Yin!
In part one of this audio series, I share this 1-minute tip that will:
Focus and ground you
Clarify what’s most important for you
Create some space for you to capture that next opportunity
Enjoy!
What does it mean to Lean Yin?
Years ago, it was all the rage to Lean In. In hindsight, after her husband tragically died at a too-young age, the author Sheryl Sandberg took a different approach with co-author Adam Grant in their book Option B: Building Resilience. The idea of Leaning Yin is more akin to Option B: to tap into your inner power and find greater meaning and balance in your life. How? By reducing overwhelm and stress, centering and grounding so you can connect to what is most important, and taking small steps to transform your life in a positive way. The results? Fewer regrets, better results, and a positive ripple effect in your company, your family, your community. That benefits us all!
It seems as though there have been a wave of deaths in the past few weeks.
My brother-in-law’s mother passed away, who he sadly had not seen in nearly a decade because of the restrictive policies of a dictatorial government in his home country.
One of my dear clients unbelievably lost a close colleague one week, then her father the following week.
Another client, who transforms loss into life—her work focuses on connecting the families of donors to organ transplant recipients—had to work with the families of a record-setting 7 organ donors in a single week.
A third client lost a close friend to cancer.
And that’t not all.
Losses come in many forms. Death. Bankruptcy. Divorce. Heartbreak. Lost opportunities.
But, what do we make of them? And what lessons and opportunities can we harvest from loss?
Let go.
Sadly, losses are one of the hardest teachers of the need to “let go.” Most losses are out of your control. While having control helps you to feel stable, steady, confident, secure, it is also a false front. The more you can learn to let go—especially of the “when” and “how” life unfolds, the less stress you will have and the more joy you’ll experience from the surprises that come unexpectedly.
Remember what is most important.
A loss forces you to pause and reflect upon what is most important in life. What that is might be different for you than for others, but often we are reminded about Love and Forgiveness and being present for the simple flow of everyday life—the details that weave their way in-between the birthdays and holidays and milestone events. Sadly, we are often painfully reminded of what we have taken for granted.
Carpe Diem.
Loss is a reminder that things can end at any moment and that you must live fully so you do not one day have regrets. So, what have you not yet done in life? Where do you want to travel? Who do you want to kiss? What leap of faith is calling to you? What change does your heart desire? Seize the day! Carpe diem!
In the practice of yoga, we are reminded of the importance of beginnings, middles and ends, as well as all the space in-between. In yoga, it is believed that without endings there can be no beginnings.
So, when appropriate and when possible, celebrate the endings—including the lives of those recently passed—to acknowledge the good and let go of the sadness—and invite in new life, new opportunity, new possibilities.
The year was 1993. I was visiting a dear friend in Los Angeles when, somewhere in her vast house, I lost my Rolodex.
Now, for you younger readers, a Rolodex is like a
set of business cards all filed alphabetically —
it’s how we all used to keep track of our contacts
before smart phones.
We looked everywhere in her house. And since I had
the Rolodex when I arrived and never took it with
me when we went out, we knew it had to be there.
But, it was never found. Not to this day!
At the time I thought to myself: I wonder if there
is someone in my Rolodex that I’m not supposed to
stay in touch with. (I tend to look for meaning in
even the smallest moments and experiences.)
And sure enough, years later it became clear. I
had gathered back together every single person’s
contact information but one. [I won’t reveal his
name here!]
The reason this experience came back to me is that yesterday I discovered that somehow nearly all of the people on my contact list had been deleted from the database of the contact management website I use. It happened in the 2nd week of
August, right before I went on vacation, and right
before I sent out the final 3 email newsletters
inviting folks to my annual performance
breakthrough retreat to Bali.
We don’t know how the contacts were deleted, and
we may never know. But, what we do know is that….
…the last 4 ezines I sent out went to only 57
people. A tiny fraction of the hundreds of people
on my list. The 4th ezine was the announcement of
my new book, which we’ll be sending out again once
the list is restored.
If you’re not in the business of staying in touch
with clients and potential clients, you may not
realize that my contact list is almost the most
valuable part of my business – second only to my
own intellectual capital. It’s how I stay in touch
with my tribe, and it’s a critical tool in sharing
my latest thinking and inviting folks to study
further with me.
In the midst of trouble shooting what had happened
yesterday, I found myself pausing and wondering:
hmmmm, I wonder if this is another instance in
which I’m meant to narrow my focus to a smaller,
more relevant group of followers.
As with the Rolodex experience, only time will
tell. So, until then I need to let go of any over-analyzing or worrying about “what ifs” – which would simply be an inefficient and draining use of prana (life force energy).
And if you don’t already know this already, let me
share with you that — in general — focusing your emotions and mental energy on what is NOT happening in the moment (worrying about the past or spinning stories in your mind about what might happen in the future) directly and negatively impacts your performance at work and at home.
The good news is my assistant had made a back-up
copy of the contact database and we were able to
recreate a majority of the original list. But not
everyone.
So, yes, this is a cathartic piece of writing
meant to share with you the importance of letting go and being open to finding meaning in the unexpected. Even when it might initially be perceived as a huge tragedy or loss.
This time of year is an important time of year to pause, reflect, and notice what you’re harvesting from seeds planted long ago. I’ll write more on
this topic in my next ezine.
If you haven’t heard from me in the past several
weeks (owing to this weird technical glitch)—or if
you’ve never received my email newsletter—I invite you to sign-up for either my free gift (on any page of this website) or the free first chapter of my new book here, both of which will add you to my list.
In the meantime, next time something seemingly upsetting or challenging or unexpected happens to you, I invite you to pause. Let go of any judgments or story-telling in that monkey mind of yours, and observe. Just watch what unfolds.
And let me know what happens in the space between
the mental chatter and worries!
Stressful effort is no fun. It’s full of resistance and tension and drama.
It seems as though there have been a wave of deaths in the past few weeks.
Remember what is most important.