Why do you avoid what you avoid? Because…
- It doesn’t feel good, and you’d rather eat chocolate, watch Netflix, or otherwise do something that feels better
- It requires facing a hard truth that you’ve been avoiding dealing with, so you set it aside again and again hoping it will go away
- There are so many more exciting and sexy things you can do that are more concrete and immediate in the satisfaction they give you, so you do those instead
- You fear others will realize that you don’t know everything and then the game will be up – you’ll be found out as a fraud
- It requires having a difficult conversation with someone you care about, and you’d rather use other means to try to deal with it rather than put the relationship at risk
- You feel ashamed that you’ve been avoiding it for so long that you, ironically, continue to avoid taking care of it
In seeing the reality of what you’ve been avoiding, you may be hearing more acutely the voices of self-criticism and judgment in your mind. But, don’t despair. Once you learn how to catch the thoughts in your head that initiate and sustain the avoiding behaviors, you can instead choose to shift and draw on your core strengths.
You want peace. You want harmony. Beautiful! What conscious decision or action would support long-term peace and harmony in this situation? In this relationship?
You enjoy taking an easygoing approach to situations. Wonderful! Channel that grounded, easygoing nature to move slowly, step by step, through what is needed to resolve the conflict.
You prefer to view situations through a positive lens and not judge others. Please continue to do so with wise discernment. Consider a positive approach that can give others the benefit of the doubt as well as the space to draw on their own inner resources.
Be compassionate with yourself. Be gentle.
To learn more about how to address challenges head on with greater ease and efficiency, I invite you to join me for a call. You can learn more here.