In times of uncertainty, do you find yourself fighting facts, or working with them? In the face of constant change, the impulse to control everything can be overwhelming. Are you responding to reality or resisting it? For many leaders, the challenge lies not just in making tough decisions, but in knowing which battles to fight. Your reluctance to accept the unchangeable could be costing you clarity, energy and influence. Accepting what you cannot change is one of the most powerful yet often misunderstood capabilities a leader can develop. While this principle may sound simple, for many leaders, accepting what they cannot change is often the hardest part. Let’s talk about it. Here is May’s strategy to help you navigate a tumultuous and generative 2025.

Strategy # 5: Accept What You Cannot Change and Change What You Can With Discernment

This article explores accepting what you cannot change, so that you can focus more effectively on what you can change… and how to cultivate the discernment needed to distinguish between what requires action and what demands acceptance. This is an essential skill for leading effectively in uncertain times, one that is at the heart of seeing reality as it is and letting go of illusion.

Let’s quickly revisit the four strategies I offered you earlier this year. I encourage you to write each of these strategies down and refer to them as you encounter challenges.

• Strategy 1 – Be Ready! Get in the Ready Position
• Strategy 2 – Get Your House In Order
• Strategy 3 –Disrupt Your Own Beliefs & Self-Identity
• Strategy 4 – Resource Yourself Well 

Coaching Questions to Ask Yourself:

Before you read further in this article, I invite you to reflect on these thought-provoking questions.

1. What if your greatest leadership strength isn’t in changing the world—but in seeing the world clearly as it is and accepting it?
2. What if accepting what you cannot change is exactly what frees you to focus your energy where it matters most?
3. What if letting go of control isn’t weakness—but wisdom?
4. Are you choosing to act because it’s truly the right move—or because your ego is reacting to circumstances and doing “something” feels safer than doing nothing?
5. What might shift in your leadership if you embraced the uncomfortable parts of reality instead of trying to fix them?

How Do You Accept What You Cannot Change:

Speaking from personal experience, accepting what you cannot change is no easy task. It takes considerable discipline, restraint and self-awareness to accept what you most want to resist. Carl Jung once stated, “We cannot change anything until we accept it.”  What a powerful yet simple statement! But for many leaders, accepting what they cannot change is far from intuitive. As natural problem-solvers, it’s ingrained in our mindset to control situations, find solutions, and fix challenges. This drive for action is essential in leadership, but it can also hinder decision making. Choosing not to fight against the unchangeable doesn’t always come naturally. Listed below are some steps you can take to help you conserve your energy for what truly matters.

1. Focus on What You Can Control – Try not to dwell on the uncontrollable. The reality is that there are certain things that are truly outside of your control. Wise leaders recognize that energy spent resisting the inevitable is energy lost.
2. Focus on Letting Go – Letting go of control isn’t giving up—it’s making space for clarity, growth, and trust.
3. Focus on small steps and mini milestones – When big changes feel overwhelming, breaking them into small, manageable steps can create momentum, boost your confidence, and keep things moving in a positive direction.
4. Embrace Adaptability – By embracing an adaptable mindset, it will be easier to accept certain realities and truths. Being adaptable fosters a culture of continuous learning for both you and your team.
5. Acknowledge Anxiety, Discomfort, Fear & Uncertainty – Openly addressing and working through the uncomfortable feelings with your teams will help you accept (rather than fight against) realities and truths.  

How to Cultivate Discernment:

Discernment is one of the most underrated leadership superpowers. Look to your inner compass or gut instinct, what you feel deep in your belly, that helps you know when to push forward and when to pause. Leading from a place of discernment means to not just lead from your head, but also from your gut. It is the ability to accept the reality in front of you, even when it’s not the reality you had hoped for. Do you want to develop this superpower? The following steps will help you:

1. Practice the power of pause – Slow down long enough to listen to your instincts. When you feel resistance, explore that feeling with curiosity to notice what additional insights come through. Let go of any “noise” from past experiences that have no relevance in the current situation.
2. Ground yourself in the facts – Ensure your decisions are not driven by ego or fear. If you are having trouble sifting through the static to tune into the facts, ask a trusted peer or mentor to put their eyes on the situation and offer their perspective on what is true.
3. Practice strategic patience – Get comfortable with uncertainty and resist the urge to act just to feel in control. Breathe, breathe, and breathe some more. Going for a walk in nature helps as well. The more you build the strategic patience muscle, the more confident and intentional your leadership can become.
4. Seek diverse outcomes and perspectives to challenge your own assumptions – Remember, this is part of the 3^rd strategy I shared with you in March: Disrupt Your Own Beliefs and Sense of Self-Identity.
5. Reflect regularly – Make the space and time to process what worked, what didn’t, and why. Bring forth those “lessons learned” and notice what they help you to see in the current situation.

MAY Challenge:

This month, I invite you to commit to taking one step toward cultivating discernment in your leadership. Whether it’s slowing down to listen to your gut instincts, seeking diverse perspectives, or practicing strategic patience—choose the step that resonates most with you and start putting it into practice. I want to hear from you! Share your journey with me. Let’s support each other in making more intentional, thoughtful decisions as we navigate this tumultuous and generative year!