Your Crisis of Confidence: How to Turn It Around for Your Benefit

by Erin Owen | May 21, 2013 | Ezine

You are human. You have emotions. And while you may strive for perfection, let’s be real: we all have weaknesses and faults.

When you hit that wall—the crisis of confidence wall—it can stop you dead in your tracks. It can be shocking and sometimes painful. And it often causes you to:

• Question your own capabilities
• Question why you are in your current business,
• And consider whether you should quit and try something new, something easier.

A crisis of confidence directly threatens your ability to stay positive and focused—one of the key success factors I talked about in last week’s webinar that influence your performance at work. [Click here to listen to or watch a replay.]

And staying positive and focused is critical for staying motivated and on track toward achieving your goals in support of your vision.

If your modus operandi is glass half empty, then these moments of doubt might be part of your weekly or even daily reality. But if your m.o. is glass half full, then they may torture you less often.

I am grateful to count myself among the latter group, but I still smash into the crisis of confidence wall about once a quarter. I usually see it coming: little doubts creep into the corners of my mind; I take little things and blow them out of proportion. And it doesn’t help that I have a surprisingly superstitious side that likes to emerge every once in awhile and taunt me.

When I hit this wall, it feels awful. And I have to use every trick in my bag to gag my inner critic and manage the crisis of confidence before it knocks me completely off of my feet.

Knowing that you too have these moments, I wanted to share this week my tried and true secrets for getting back on your feet after your own crisis of confidence.

SIT IN THE SEAT OF YOUR CRISIS

There is no way to avoid your feelings. You must pause, acknowledge them and feel them, even express them. Imagine there is a chair in the room and that chair is that crisis. Sure, you can walk around it. But no matter how many times you circle it, the chair will still be there. You can’t truly get around it without sitting in it.

Think of your crisis like a persistent toddler tugging at your pant leg and whining—a toddler who wants you to pick him up and will be more than happy to escalate his behavior until he gets what he wants. You must pick up and fully embrace the root cause of your crisis and give it the attention it so desperately wants and needs.

Here’s a mindset exercise I teach my clients that you can do on your own to sit in that seat and fully acknowledge what’s going on inside of you. I call this exercise “The Truth.”

Step 1: Using a journal or notebook or tablet or computer, write down as quickly as you can (without stopping to think or judge or edit or revise) all the thoughts and feelings streaming through you.

Step 2: Take a break. Go for a walk, or make a cup of tea, or do some exercise, or fold the laundry, or tend to your garden. Do something to get a bit of distance between you and the page of words and breathe a bit.

Step 3: Sit down to write again and address point by point the thoughts and feelings you wrote down before with what is really “the truth.”

For example, if you write down “I am stupid and I will never figure this out.” Then your truth might be something like this: “Actually, the truth is that I am smart and capable. I have started and finished innumerable projects in my life. I have successfully helped hundreds of customers. I have learned new software programs and taught myself to knit.” (etc., etc.)

TIP: It’s helpful to underline each thought or feeling you initially wrote down in Step 1 so that you can address each point with your truth in Step 3.

BATHE IN THE POSITIVES

Even if you completed “The Truth” exercise I described above, you may still be feeling shaky and uncertain, not sure enough to put one foot in front of the other to move forward. So what do you do?

You must bathe yourself in praise to shift your awareness so you can see and hear clearly—and feel in your bones—the truth of your strong capabilities, your positive traits, and your successes in life and business. How to do this? Here are 6 ideas to get you started…

Six Ways to Bathe in the Positives

1. Look back over positive feedback in past performance reviews.
2. Pull out customer feedback forms or client testimonials and read them OUT LOUD to yourself and ideally in front of a mirror.
3. Write down the names of everyone who has referred new business to you in the past month or quarter or year. (Or, write down the names of everyone who would come to your aid if they knew you were having a crisis.)
4. Ask three close friends to tell you what they love so much about you. Seriously! Do it!
5. Call your all-time favorite clients and ask them what is “new” or “good” in life and business.
6. Filter your online bank statement to see only deposit transactions, then write down by hand the numbers and lastly add up the total.

GET RE-INSPIRED BY YOUR VISION!

It’s so easy to get caught up in the daily spin of your overwhelming “to do” list. How often do you pause to step back and remember your vision? When was the last time you worked on clarifying your vision? Have you ever done this?

In last week’s webinar I shared that the single most important critical factor in successfully implementing or executing your vision is having a clear vision. Seems obvious, right? But if you are reading this and thinking “I don’t know what my vision is,” then sadly you are among the majority.

If you don’t have a clearly laid out vision for your overall life with a concrete idea of how your work life or business supports that vision, then that makes me sad. You are missing out on fully tapping your potential and realizing your dreams. And that affects ALL of us because we won’t fully benefit from all the positive ways you could be contributing to our lives, our community, our world. (Remember, we are ALL connected!)

To be successful in life and in work, you must:

1. Document your vision and
2. Clarify goals that support your vision and
3. Work out a system to track your progress toward your goals that support your vision. The steps above enable you to take your life and work to the next level. You deserve to do this!

The steps above enable you to take your life and work to the next level. You deserve to do this!

We all have crises of confidence at one time or another, but the secret to turning those moments around for your BENEFIT lies in following the steps above, having a network of supporters you can reach out to for feedback and support and guidance, and moving forward with tenacity—another of the success factors I shared in last week’s webinar.

In the group program that begins in June, I teach you how to cultivate grit and tenacity, integrity, flexibility and creativity, being real (being you!), having a plan, and cultivating resources and support—all critical traits of the highest performing, highest earning, and most successful people in the world.

Your participation in the Spring Into Being group program ALSO gives you:

• A clear and documented vision
• Tangible forward progress in realizing your vision
• Richly expanded network of supportive people and resources
• Greater self-awareness and the removal of internal obstacles
• A Boost in your confidence and energy reserves
• Enhanced communication skills
• Radically improved focus and time management.

All the foundational skills you need to have WHAT WE ALL WANT!

• Money to pay your bills and enjoy life to its fullest
• Connection with lovely people
• Feeling good in your body and enjoying good health
• Making a meaningful contribution to the world

I invite you to take my advice: follow the steps above to learn from your crisis of confidence and come out of it stronger and wiser. Be truthful with yourself about what strengths and skills you already possess. And acknowledge what you need to strengthen your foundation so you can thrive in life and business.

And if you feel the Spring Into Being group program might provide you with what you need to strengthen your foundation for success, then I invite you:

• Talk with me for a free 15 minute Q&A call about the program
• Listen to last week’s webinar to learn more about the program, as well as what’s critical for your success (and what silently sabotages it)
• Read more about the program
• Apply today!