I’ve been having an increasing number of the conversations with leaders about all that is changing in our world—across industries, roles, and stages of career. Are you too?
Something profound is shifting. From the outside, many organizations still look functional: Goals are being met. Teams are moving. Titles are held. But underneath the surface, there’s a not-so-quiet reckoning happening. Do you feel it?
The world is louder, faster, more uncertain. The pace of change hasn’t slowed; if anything, it’s accelerating. AI. Economic pressure. Organizational restructuring. Political polarization. Collective exhaustion.
And underneath all of it, quiet but persistent questions many leaders are mulling over:
Is the way I’ve been leading—and living—still sustainable?
Is there something more meaningful I can be doing in my career?
What I’m seeing isn’t a failure of leadership. It’s a fundamental “breakdown to breakthrough” shift to a new way of living and leading. Old models of success are crashing into a world that no longer responds to force, certainty, or constant output. Many of the leaders I work with are competent, driven, and deeply committed, yet they’re exhausted in a way rest alone doesn’t fix.
Team engagement is showing it too: Morale is fragile. Trust requires more intention. Empathy is no longer a “nice-to-have” leadership trait; it’s essential infrastructure.
I am seeing emotional, mental, cognitive and physical burnout that rest alone doesn’t resolve. The old equation of work harder, optimize more, push through is no longer producing the same results. And ‘work for the sake of work’ is no longer cutting it. Leaders want greater meaning in their lives and in the work they do. How about you?
Leaders are being tasked with holding complexity, emotion, and ambiguity while still delivering results. Is this reasonable?
And here’s the bottom line: We are living through a moment that’s asking for a different kind of leadership—one rooted in clarity, regulation, and self-awareness, not just strategy.
This is why many leaders find themselves in a familiar but rarely named place: the space between chapters. You might even say it’s the space between different eras!
You may have built a successful career. From the outside, it may even look enviable. But inside, something feels different. The path that once fit now feels constraining. The identity you’ve spent years building may feel incomplete and outdated.
If you’re in this space—between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming—you’re not lost. You’re responding to what’s emerging in you, a mirror to what’s emerging in the world around you.
What if this moment in the world—and in your career—is not asking you to push harder, but to re-examine what was once true and shift to a new way of working and leading?
Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing more about the work I’ve been developing to support leaders navigating this emerging landscape.
For now, I’ll leave you with this question: What might become possible if you didn’t have to move through this transition alone? Stay tuned…more to come. Keep following along.
As we fast approach the end of 2020, I wish you a happy new year! And as you look ahead to 2021, I invite you to read the lessons I learned from surfing just a couple weeks ago, perhaps to inspire you as you move into 2021.
Lesson #1: You’re never too old to try something new.
On my first trip to Bali, my friends Angela and Madeline took surfing lessons. I sat on shore and thought to myself “they are crazy.” Years later, I said “why not?” If I can learn to surf, what else new can I try? I am inspired. And I hope you are too.
Lesson #2: Feel the fear, then breathe deeply, paddle, stop, stand, surf. Amazing!
By focusing on just one step at a time and being present in only this moment I did it. I breathed, I took it one step at a time, and I did it. Well, sometimes I did it, then fell, but it was fun. It’s all about taking it one step at a time. Such a great reminder for anything in life.
Lesson #3: Waves are not waves. They are the result of energy moving through water. Wow!
If you’ve been on my list for years and years, then you remember when the first principle I taught you was that “everything is energy.” I truly experienced that with my time in the ocean in Costa Rica and body surfing, and then learning to surf with a surf board. By being present with my breath and moving my energy with the energy moving through the water, the surfing was smooth and peaceful and fun. When I had fear or tried to go against that energy, I fell or did not feel in rhythm with the energy of life. Amazing!
I hope by sharing the lessons I learned from surfing you’ve found some reminders and discoveries for yourself that you can take into 2021. And if you’re looking for coaching support to carry you along with the energy of your life (and to stop pushing), let’s talk!
The biggest gift of covid quarantine this past year was more time with my kids. My experiment to shift my work schedule to Mon-Tues-Wed (and be offline as much as I could on Thurs-Sun) was a complete and total success. It yielded so many wonderful memories and stronger relationships with my older son Ian and younger son Miles. I was reminded of the intentionality required to be truly present with them. And my mental fitness practice of PQ reps helped me to stay grounded and not get emotionally triggered when normal conflict arose in the household.
As we near the end of the year, I reflect back on so many unexpected twists and turns that have now forever shaped my entire life, my family, my work, my relationships, and how I care for my health. I could have never predicted nor chosen how this past year has turned out, and yet I honestly would not change it.
My Deepest Gratitude Goes to:
My health – as a foundation for all
Family
Freedom to travel (where allowed)
The amazing work I get to do with the world’s best clients
Future possibilities
Even if you experienced unexpected challenges and hardship this past year, what are you grateful for? I’d love to hear from you!
It’s been one hell of a year. Unless you’re one of the millionaires or billionaires that grew your wealth in 2020, you likely experienced financial stress along with emotional strain, relationship challenges, and career difficulties. And if your health was affected this year, in any way, I sincerely hope you have fully recovered!
To support you in not just surviving through the end of the year, but truly THRIVING as you transition to 2021, I’m sharing 3 robust tips you can use today and each day in each moment that brings up negative emotions. Read on to find the one golden nugget that could really change things for you in the next few days and weeks. And if you’d like to dig in further with my support, click the button below to sign up now for one of my new complimentary Saboteur Diagnosis coaching sessions.
Stop Avoiding. Start Prioritizing for Impact. Engage. And Thrive.
If your m.o. is usually to be super flexible and work to keep the peace with others, but that leaves you putting your own needs last and feeling like you & your relationships are suffering, try one of the following approaches.
TIP #1: Prioritize and Engage Make a list of the conflicts you’ve been avoiding. Seriously. Stop right now and do this.
Then, rank them in order of importance — perhaps related to how important the corresponding relationship is for you.
Start at the top with #1 and start address each one, one at a time, starting today. Yes, today! Why? The sooner you do so, the less mental and physical energy you’ll waste on worrying and procrastinating. As soon as you tend to each one, you’ll release a well-spring of energy and feel better. I promise. Do it!
TIP #2: Say No and Address Conflict Head-on in a Healthy Way If one of the top 3 conflicts involves you needing to say “no”, but it’s hard for you to say so, practice saying “Thanks for thinking of me” or “Thanks for offering your ideas and suggestions”. Then say “After some consideration, I’ve decided….” [then fill in the blank for what is best for you in this situation].
If another of the top conflicts is challenging for you to resolve, try out sharing that with the other(s) involved. For example: “This is a really challenging situation for me. I notice that I’m feeling worried that this will hurt our relationship and I really want us to get along. You are important to me. Can we talk about what’s going on, even if it’s hard to do so?”
TIP #3: Energize Yourself with Creativity to Remove Blocks and Thrive Perhaps one of the conflicts you’ve been avoiding is within yourself. Maybe it involves making a decision, or moving forward with a project that has long been weighing on your mind. Whatever it is, you feel stuck. Contemplate this initial question to leverage your strengths: “How can I be flexible about this situation in a good way, and bring in some fresh creative energy to look at and approach it differently?” Then ask yourself: “What can I let go of that will give me more room to consider different possibilities?”
If it’s a decision you are putting off, ask yourself this simple series of questions: “What’s the wildest and crazy thing I could decide to do in this situation?” Then ask yourself: “What’s the absolute worst thing I could decide to do?” And finally: “And in truth, what makes the most sense for me to decide at this time?”
By looking at things in a different way and shining on a light on the extremes, you can bring forth clarity for an answer or a small next step that feels right for you.
At the core of shifting from a surviving mindset to a THRIVING one, is shifting the way you look at things and tapping into positive emotions, creativity and other strengths you possess. When you hear your inner voice saying “this will not work” or “this is too simple and my situation Is different and too complex”, know that this is your old survival brain voice working to make things more difficult for you. To learn more about to quiet the negative survival voices in your head, sign up now for one of my new complimentary Saboteur Diagnosis coaching sessions.
Here’s to you bringing out more of your best self and THRIVING into and beyond the end of 2020.
How would you respond to these statements? (Be honest!)
I am in charge of my time Most of the time?Sometimes?Rarely?
My calendar dictates my daily life Most of the time?Sometimes?Rarely?
My stress level is manageable Most of the time?Sometimes?Rarely?
During the webinar I led last Friday with members of the Beacon Professional Network, I asked the above question and also shared two frameworks to support participants to:
assess the degree to which you are spending time aligned with what is most important
and learn how to prioritize the “important” (not the “urgent”)
What did not surprise me was:
How significantly the current stay-at-home restrictions have changed how people allocate their time and the impact these changes have made on them: both positively and in many not-so-great ways. The key challenge seemed to be the need for better boundaries to shift away from too much time on Zoom and too many hours working. And the key benefit seemed to be more quality time with family.
Are you Focusing on What’s Important?
During the webinar I guided participants to take the Four Way View, a core assessment in the Total Leadership program which I’ve facilitated for 10+ years. This assessment generates a clear picture of what is most important for you and the degree to which your choices for how you spend your time are aligned with that importance.
If you’d like to do this exercise yourself, it is available online for free here. And you can learn more about its creator Stew Friedman and his work here. In last week’s webinar, I also shared the following version of the Eisenhower Matrix as a tool for how to focus on what is most important.
How will you live and lead in your new circumstances?
There is no going back to “normal” now, as the world will not revert to the way it was before COVID-19 and you cannot forget the awareness you’ve gained over the past couple months. With new insights into what is most important and what changes you’d like to make moving forward, you can create your own way to adapt and thrive in your new circumstances.
If you’d like to talk more about the frameworks shared above or how coaching can support you in re-framing and re-creating your future life and career, I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching session with me via my online calendar. If you’d like to skip the free session and dive straight into a more in-depth assessment and planning session, learn more about “Crisis to Clarity” coaching here.
The world needs more flexible and resilient leaders, who lead from the heart with compassion and the brain with ingenuity. I am grateful to be called to this line of work called professional coaching, in which I’ve consulted with and coached over a thousand leaders over the years, and supported leaders like you in cultivating the exact competencies we most need now.
As the weather gets warmer in the northern hemisphere and nature calls you outside, please use caution and stay healthy by following the guidance of your local government.
