Need a Break from Feeling Tense? Try this!

The root of most tension in the body is stress and anxiety. And the root of stress and anxiety is in your thoughts – the thoughts you have about the circumstances and people to which you may attribute your “problems”, which cause your stress and anxiety.

As you know, I’ve used yoga, meditation, Reiki, and other practices the past 20+ years to separate myself from my thoughts, to shift my nervous system, to boost my productivity, and re-wire my neural patterns. These approaches have worked well, but require carving out large chunks of time – and I’ve long craved a simpler approach that can be easily integrated into my day with greater ease.

Recently, I completed a six-week course that complemented and brought together the many practices and executive & leadership frameworks I’ve drawn on over the decades. It has worked so well, in fact, that I find my inner skeptic occasionally poking me and asking: is this really still working?

I’ve greatly boosted my ability to quickly shift from feeling triggered to being able to feel grounded, clear-headed, and resourceful. I am much LESS often caught up in critical judgments about myself, about others, or my circumstances. I am sleeping better and feeling better about all my relationships.

Want to know more? Over the next couple weeks, I will continue to share a selection of the practices I have learned — and also let you know how you can also take this same six-week course at no cost.

2 Minute “Reps” to Reduce Tension & Invite Relaxation*

2 Minute

Try this at least an hour (and ideally longer) after your most recent meal or snack. Practicing this while full can cause discomfort.

Please sit comfortably with your spine straight and relaxed. Your head straight, your chest open, your feet flat on the floor. After you’ve read over this basic practice, set a timer for 2 minutes and follow these steps again with your eyes closed.

Be careful not to hurt yourself as you do this: go ahead and tense up ALL the muscles of your body, from head and toe. Tense up your skull, your forehead, your eyes, your cheeks, your jaws. Tense up your neck, shoulders, arms, and hands. Tense up your chest and stomach. Tense up your seat, thighs, legs, and feet.

As you do this, really notice all your physical sensations, scanning all parts of the body: be fascinated by all aspects of the physical experience of how your body feels when you tense up and tune-in to the sensations.

Then, let go of all that tension. Let go of all of tightening and holding, easing away from the edge of tension, releasing more into the spaciousness that remains after you let go of the tension. Tune into the more relaxed sensations throughout your body. Notice the rise and fall of your chest or stomach with each breath. Take your time and when you feel ready, open your eyes.

Take a final deep breath and resume your normal activity.

Keep an eye out for next Tuesday’s email in which I share a practice to release judgement in support of your happiness and success!

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ERIN?

As Erin and her family continue their year of nomadic life, they will be exploring different states in the U.S. and also (as restrictions lift) different countries. In July, Erin will be staying with family in the state of Iowa.

2 Minute “Fix” for Anxiety & Distraction

The root of all stress and anxiety is NOT your current circumstances or what other people are doing to you. The root of all stress and anxiety is in your thoughts – the thoughts you have about those circumstances and people.

For years, I’ve used meditation and other practices to separate myself from my thoughts, to shift my nervous system, and re-wire my neural patterns. This approach has worked well, but requires continual daily practice.

Recently, I completed a six-week course that greatly boosted my ability to quickly shift from feeling triggered to being able to feel grounded, clear-headed, and resourceful. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a selection of the practices I have learned and also let you know how you can also take this same six-week course at no cost.

2 Minute “Reps” for Anxiety & Distraction*

Please sit comfortably with your spine straight and relaxed. Your head straight, your chest open, your feet flat on the floor. After you’ve read over this basic practice, set a timer for 2 minutes and follow these steps again with your eyes closed.

Take your right hand and place it on your heart and notice your heart beat. Your heart beat sensation might be very subtle, so you might need to move your hand around a little, or press a little harder to feel your heart beat through your hand.

Continue to notice your heartbeat with your hand. As thoughts come or as sounds in your environment distract you, gently let them go and re-focus on your heartbeat and your hand. Continue to breathe two or three full rounds of breath and feel your heartbeat with your hand.

Next put your right hand on your stomach and notice the gentle rising and falling of your stomach with each breath. Continue to breathe and feel your stomach moving with each breath. As thoughts come or as sounds in your environment distract you, gently let them go and re-focus on your stomach and your hand. Continue to breathe two or three full rounds of breath and feel your stomach rising and falling with your hand.

Now do some reps with your sense of touch. Rub the tip of the first finger of your right hand gently together with the tip of the thumb of your right hand, gently sliding the tips back and forth across one another with just enough tension that you can feel the fingertip ridges on each fingers. Explore the sensations with the full focus of your mind as the finger and thumb gently move over one another.

Breathe and feel the sensations of the finger and thumb tips. As thoughts come or as sounds in your environment distract you, gently let them go and re-focus on your finger and thumb tips. Continue to breathe two or three full rounds of breath with this focus on the tactile sensations in your hand.

Once you have completed two to three breaths with focus on your heartbeat, then two to three breaths with focus on your stomach and breath rising and falling, then two to three breaths with focus on the tactile sensations between your first finger and thumb, notice any changes in the quality of your physical being and your mental state, and open your eyes.

Take a final deep breath and resume your normal activity.

Look for next Tuesday’s e-mail in which I share a practice to reduce tension and invite relaxation, so you can buld your resilience against the war that your negative thoughts wage against you.

Nomadic life begins | Are you ready to follow your dream?

Years prior to COVID-19, my husband and I dreamed of taking our two sons abroad for a year to expose them to other cultures, languages, and ways of living. In January, we made the official decision that we would go for it: sell the house, store our belongings, pack light, work part-time from different time zones with our laptops, and world-school the kids. Then COVID-19 arrived and changed our plans.

WHAT DESTINATION IS SET IN YOUR GPS?
My experience the past several months has been an important affirmation of a practice I have used for myself and with clients the past 16 years: when you have a dream, go for it. And just like when you enter a destination on a GPS, the exact path you take may change along the way. There may also be times when you decide to alter the ultimate destination in the GPS.

ADJUST AS YOU GO
Ultimately, once you reach your chosen destination, you may set your eyes on yet another goal or dream or destination. Along the way, be present to what is happening, notice what comes with ease, and be cautious about when it feels like you are pushing a boulder up the hill. These are all signs for when adjustments may be needed or when you are on the right path.

MOURNING THE LOSS, THEN REVIVING THE DREAM
For my family, in March and April, we decided to scrap our original travel plans and let go of the current version of the dream. There was definitely some sadness and mourning for that loss. That is, until we decided: someway, somehow, we are going. We revised our dream, and refreshed our research, and now have a new plan — all the while knowing it may change at the last minute.

Family hike

ADAPTABILITY & RESILIENCE
Both my husband and I are planners. And like most human beings I know, we like to anticipate the different variables and do our best to control the outcomes. But, a key lesson from our COVID-19 experience has been to let go of detailed planning, to be clear in intention in our heart, but flexible in our minds and actions. So while we have a plan, it is truly written in pencil: we know we may need to erase it and re-write it at any moment.

THE NEW PLAN
Thus, instead of selling our house, we have rented it out for the year starting July 1. Instead of traveling to Southern European countries in the Fall, we are planning to start our adventure in September in Costa Rica. After that, while we hope to go next to Argentina, and then after the New Year head to Japan and then Bali, we know that travel restrictions, a return of a second round of COVID, and many other unknowns could arise that could change our plan. But, we are committed. And excited!

FREEDOM AND EXCITEMENT
As we begin our nomadic year, I feel a sense of freedom and excitement: with only a few bags of clothing and gear, we have the ability to be nimble. We’ve saved up our travel points and airline miles, and with flights so inexpensive, there are so many possibilities ahead. With no mortgage and no private school tuitions for our kids, our expenses are vastly lower. It truly feels like the world is our oyster — and as we go we will discover many beautiful pearls through our adventure.

WORKING FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD
With the gifts that come with laptops, tablets, phones, local data plans, and wifi, we are truly able to work (and access kids’ educational resources) wherever we go. Our expectation of this tech-based flexibility has been tested these few months, with the quarantine restrictions in many ways giving us a chance to try out many of our ideas.

MAY MY CRAZY PLAN INSPIRE YOU
Whatever your personal opinion may be of our plan for a nomadic, world-schooling, family gap year, my hope is that it may INSPIRE you to think about how YOU can enter into your GPS your desired dream, goal, or destination. Then, hold the space for it to come true in your heart, and adjust daily and weekly as new information becomes available and experiences unfold.

LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR DREAM!
If you yourself could benefit from partnering with a coach like me to help you clarify your vision or goal or destination, I’d love to work with you! I’m currently scheduling calls for July and the first half of August. I’ll be working from the Central and Eastern time zones the rest of the summer, then the equivalent of Mountain time zone once we land in Costa Rica in mid-September.

You can find some time on my calendar here: https://calendly.com/erin_owen/.

Here’s to living into your dream!
Erin

Erin signature

What is my role to play in this?

Last week, two blocks from my house, a large group of white men stood with bats on the street, supposedly to protect the neighborhood. From who? Not sure.

This was after curfew. Located just feet away there stood a line of police officers blocking the local station, looking on but doing nothing about these very intimidating men with bats. It was scary. I felt unsafe in my own neighborhood.

Later on, it came to light that some officers were posing selfie-style with some of the men with bats, posted all over social media. Troubling to say the least.

Meanwhile, across the city in the neighborhood where my husband’s high school is located, black citizens were tear gassed and pepper sprayed for being out after curfew and, well, I’ll say it: for being black. Part of a long history of people of color being stopped while driving, while walking, while jogging, targeted for being black.

I would not know about this if friends did not tell me this happened to them. This is not taught in history class, and I am not black and thus had never experienced it. The closest I have ever known is the “normal” fear I experience whenever walking at night as a woman. Similar to how a straight man will rarely know the fear a woman has walking alone, I also do not understand the experience of my black and brown friends.

This is not okay. I am aware this is a result of the history we ALL have inherited from the time of enslaved Africans being bought and sold in the US to work the plantations and literally be the backbone of the early years of the US economy. 

Since then there has been a history of governmental policies that intentionally discriminated against and disenfranchised black people. Add to that discriminatory, intentionally destructive, violent and often life-ending behavior of white people against black and brown people, and the recent protests against police brutality and legal system injustices totally make sense to me.

While I have never experienced being turned down for a job or a loan because I am black, I am aware that women in the US have only been legally allowed to get a credit card or a bank loan without a male family member or husband since 1985. That is not that long ago: 35 years, a shorter period of time than the years of my lifetime. 

Since the time of slavery, for hundreds of years, there has been a pervasive practice of race-based discrimination that affects access to capital, access to housing, access to jobs, access to office space, and on and on.

You may be wondering, “What is my role to play in this?” And I’m so glad you too are pondering this question. It’s about much more than a one time donation to the National Association of Black Journalists or the NAACP.

It’s about much more than protesting in your local area. It’s about much more than the reform of police use of force. It’s about much more than examining our gun laws.

*It’s about LISTENING with compassion and curiosity.

*It’s about OBSERVING your own subconscious thoughts and conscious behavior: what assumptions are you making about any one individual based on their skin color?

*It’s about ASKING yourself: what can I learn, who can I support, how can I be part of the solution?

 

“A time comes when silence is betrayal” MLK

And to all my clients in and from Hong Kong and China: you have so much going on at home right now that perhaps the events in the US seem like back page news, and I understand that too. Ask yourself: “what is my role to play in those circumstances?”

In a professional development course I am taking right now, the question posed daily is: “how can this outcome or circumstance be turned into an opportunity or gift?”

I have to admit that some days, with all that is going on, I feel like smacking the teacher when he asks that question.

But then, at others times, when my nervous system has calmed down and I am able to look at the world around me with more grounded clarity, I can see that there is in fact so much good that can be built out of these challenging circumstances.

I am also asking myself: “how can I use my status & resources for the greater good?” A recent post on social media really resonates with me and reminds me to not do nothing because Silence is Violence.

No matter the role you choose to play, the organization you donate to support, the decisions you make to support black and brown people, please know that now is NOT the time to be complacent or silent.

Now is the time to LISTEN, OBSERVE, and ASK yourself: “what is my role to play?”

If you’re open to read more and learn about the experience of my brother-in-law (a black man, who was born in Eritrea, is a US citizen and lives in Philadelphia), written from the perspective of my white sister-in-law, please click here: The Importance of Being Unsettled: Deeply, Permanently Unsettled.

If you’re open to learning more about the challenging economic realities of black Americans and the history that has contributed to current disparities and economic injustice, please watch Maggie Anderson’s TEDx talk about the year that her family tried to spend all their money only with black-owned businesses and the challenges they encountered. If you prefer to read her book, you can purchase it from a black-owned bookstore. Find a list of those independent businesses here

With a heavy heart and a huge volume of hope, here’s to OUR collective evolution,

Erin 

 

Erin Owen, MBA, PCC, JCTC
Executive Coach since 2004
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinowen/

Top 10 Reasons You Need Coaching More Than Ever

Redheaded woman with a surgical mask

When you’re in the eye of the storm is when you need to be most greatly resourced and supported. When you are lying on a beach on vacation? Not so much.

When you’re being challenged by current circumstances is when you need to be able to readily draw upon your creativity and resilience, not after the fact when you’re reflecting and (perhaps) over-analyzing what you did or did not do “right.”

In this email, I share free resources and make the case for why now – more than ever – coaching is what is needed. In other words…

Now is the time to take care of yourself, invest in your leadership capacity, and build a stronger future for tomorrow.

Is it Time to Take Back a Wee Bit of Control in Your Life?
If you’ve never read my book Refuel Recharge and Reenergize: Your Guide to Taking Back Control of Your Time and Energy, its content is just as relevant now as when it was first written in 2013. This handy guide provides small, manageable tips you can use on your own to find your ground, simplify your daily life, and reclaim a wee bit of control in your life. You can order a paperback or Kindle copy from Amazon.com, or … if finances are too tight right now simply email me and I’ll send you a complimentary PDF copy for your personal use.

Top 10 Reasons You Need Coaching More Than Ever Right Now
I recently came across this article that captured what I know to be true and what the research on coaching outcomes confirm. I’ve captured my version of the key points below and you can also click on any reason to dive in more deeply and read what the original authors Ann Betz and William Arruda shared. To receive coaching support, you can schedule a complimentary coaching session here or receive more in-depth support via a Crisis to Clarity session here.

1SCIENTIFIC PROOF: Many of the tools and techniques used in professional coaching are scientifically proven to reduce stress

2SAFE SPACE TO SHIFT: Coaching provides a safe space to process challenging situations and gain perspective so you can act with greater creativity and resourcefulness

3ACTIVATE RESILIENCE: Even when you can’t change what is happening around you, coaching helps you activate and grow your resilience and leadership capacity

4SIGNIFICANT ROI: Time and money invested in coaching pays off in the short-term and the longer-term in larger gains

5RIPPLE EFFECTS: Sponsoring coaching for your managers and leaders provides a noticeable ripple effect.

6BEHAVIOR CHANGE: Coaching leads to permanent changes for individuals and organizations in many cases.

7RETENTION INCREASES: Coaching develops leadership strengths and confidence, and helps retain critically needed top talent.

8

MINDSET SHIFTS: Coaching supports leaders in getting unstuck and shifting unproductive or fixed patterns and mindsets.

9CLARIFY PURPOSE/FIND MEANING: People are thinking about purpose and meaning as a result of this crisis, and coaching supports leaders in clarifying and then acting in alignment with what is most important and meaningful.

10COACHING SUPPORTS MINDFUL CHOICES IN TIMES OF CHANGE: People are using this opportunity to make major life and work changes, and coaching provides support to most effectively make those choices and navigate related changes.

What are your own reasons why you can benefit from coaching at this time? I look forward to talking further with you and supporting you in the way I’ve supported hundreds of clients over the past 16+ years.

Here’s to your resourcefulness and creativity!

Erin signature

Erin Owen, MBA, PCC, JCTC
Executive Coach since 2004
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinowen/

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