Why Negativity is Contagious & How You Can Stop Being Hijacked By Others

by | Aug 11, 2020 | Ezine

Have you ever noticed how certain people leave you feeling angry or frustrated or even combative? These might be people you work with, or one or more members of your family , or perhaps a politician or other person who is often in the media. Maybe it was even a written social media post that made your blood boil.

Before this person “made you” feel angry or frustrated, how were you feeling prior? Did the person in some way shift you from feeling peaceful or happy to feeling negative?

It is most likely because of mirror neurons in your brain. Mirror neurons act like little sponges & switches that first observe what someone is saying or how they are behaving, absorb that data, and then “fire”— causing you to “mirror” the other or act in the same way.

When someone “comes in hot”, speaking loudly and with an angry tone about something they are frustrated about, their energy directly influences your own mood via your brain’s mirror neurons. And that reaction also triggers the release of adrenaline, cortisol, and norepinephrine — the trifecta of stress hormones — that get your body primed to flee or fight or freeze, and also when released regularly and daily can lead to chronic health conditions.

The good news is: positive emotions are also contagious in this same way.

You may know certain people who often (or always) make you feel good. You like to spend time around them because they lift up your spirits, turn your day around in a good way, and as a result boost the level of feel-good serotonin in your brain. It is thanks to that person – and your mirror neurons — and the release of “positive” neurotransmitters like serotonin, that your mood changes and your body produces a health-promoting chemical cocktail in your body.

Serotonin for example is critical for healthy digestion, for good quality sleep, for healthy sexual function and more.

But you already know this from your own experience: when you’re stressed and wound up, you don’t want to eat or when you do your digestion is messed up. You don’t sleep as well, and your interest in being with others diminishes — whether platonically or romantically.

Let’s step back and consider this on a macro level: how does a work environment full of positive people affect your mood and your health?  Your creativity and performance?

How does a household full of negative people — or even a TV show with sensationalist negative news programming — affect you? Notice how it influences your mood, your perspective of other people, your day ahead, your prospects in life, and on and on. One negative moment can trigger a ripple effect of negative interactions in your day.

It is important to know that BOTH positivity and negativity are contagious due to how your brain functions.

And, more good news: you can strengthen your mental muscles so that you stay more in positivity and intercept the negativity so your mirror neurons don’t hijack your mood in a destructive way.

HOW?

By practicing little 10 second reps to shift your brain function out of the survival brain (which is activated with the influence of negative emotions and mirror neurons) instead to activate the parts of the brain associated with empathy, creativity, and positive social engagement.

What are these little 10 seconds reps called? PQ reps. They are the core daily activities you learn to integrate into your busy, stress-filled life as part of the mental fitness course called Positive Intelligence. PQ is short-hand for “Positive Intelligence quotient” (like EQ for emotional intelligence quotient).

Try PQ Reps now:

Shift from anxiety and distraction to calm, focus, and productivity with PQ reps

Release stress & tension to bring in greater peace and relaxation with PQ reps

Quiet your inner critic: let go of unnecessary negative judgments and shift to wiser discernment with PQ reps

You can learn how to strengthen your 3 core mental muscles so your mirror neurons do not hijack your mood and unintentionally lead to strain in your relationships, underperformance at work, or poor health from all the stress and anxiety. And here’s how…

The six-week Positive Intelligence course begins in September, just in time for you and your brain to go back to school! I am guiding 10 people through the course right now and spots are now open for the next “pod” (group). You will join 3-5 others moving through the program — or if you have an intact work team or family unit or friend group you can request to do the course together. More details here.

Here’s to building resilience, positivity and creativity for a better life and a better world!

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ERIN?
As Erin and her family continue their year of nomadic life, they will be exploring different states in the U.S. and also (as restrictions lift) different countries. In August, Erin and her husband and sons will be spending time in Philadelphia, Vermont, and Maine. Then in September they will venture west to Colorado!

Missed any past newsletters? Check out our newsletter archive here.

Are you ready to defeat your mental Saboteurs? Introducing the PQ Operating System

by | Jul 28, 2020 | Ezine

What if you could improve your performance at work by 31% while experiencing greater happiness in all of your life? What if you could sell 37% more while tripling your creativity? And what if you could do this by upgrading your brain’s operating system, making changes that are long-lasting and sustainable?

The past several weeks I’ve shared glimpses into the approach I’ve been using most recently with myself and my clients and now I want to share it with you. It’s called the Positive Intelligence or the PQ Operating System.

As you know, I’ve used yoga, meditation, Reiki and other practices the past 20+ years to separate myself from my thoughts, manage my mood and mindset, shift my nervous system, boost my productivity, and re-wire my neural patterns. These approaches have worked well, but require carving out large chunks of time – and I’ve long craved a simpler approach that can be easily integrated into my day with greater ease.

In my coaching with clients, the biggest inhibitor to the client experiencing long-lasting results has been the same factor that has challenged me: mental saboteurs. Or, as one client used to call it, your mind’s internal “itty bitty shitty committee.”

You take a course, you work with a coach, your find an approach that works but then eventually the results diminish or eventually completely fade away. You get frustrated, perhaps even blaming yourself for wasting your time or blaming the course instruction or the coach. When in reality it’s your mental saboteurs that are derailing you and robbing you of the happiness and success you deserve.

In the Spring, I completed the six-week Positive Intelligence course that complemented and brought together the many practices and executive & leadership frameworks I’ve drawn on over the decades. It was a special offering of this course, just for professional coaches like me, and the approach it taught me has worked so well that I find my inner skeptic occasionally poking me and asking: is this really still working?

This week, I begin guiding 10 people through this same six-week Positive Intelligence course as part of a six-month long coach training program I am doing. Who is in this group (or “pod”) as we call it in Positive Intelligence? A physician, a business owner, a nutrition educator, an estimator, an alliance manager, a startup cofounder, a university department chair, a director of community and school relations, and a medical director. Most have children (or grandchildren), and all have intense schedules and complex lives. Just like you.

Soon, I will be offering the course another time to another group – and I hope you will want to be a part of it.

Why do I want you to take the Positive Intelligence course? By applying the approach taught by Positive Intelligence, I have greatly boosted my ability to quickly shift from feeling triggered to being able to feel grounded, clear-headed, and resourceful. I am much LESS often caught up in critical judgments about myself, about others, or my circumstances. I am sleeping better and feeling better about all my relationships.

I want the same and more for you!

How confident am I that this approach works? I have fully integrated it into my coaching work with existing and new clients. It is now a required component in the foundational work I do with all new clients who begin working with me. And I am gradually introducing existing clients to it, by integrating it into the work we’re already doing together.

Just like the fact that you must first install an operating system into your computer before adding apps and software, I am now offering Positive Intelligence as the operating system for clients to establish the strongest available foundation for successful outcomes from coaching. It’s not brainwashing or anything creepy. It’s rooted in solid scientific research, tested with more than 500,000 participants in 500 countries, so it works for people across all cultures.

Ready to learn more and join the next “pod”? This link takes you to a page on my website where you can read more information about Positive Intelligence, take two free assessments to learn your PQ Score and the strength of your mental Saboteurs, then (if you want) sign-up to join the next pod. And if the info on this page does not answer all your questions, you can schedule a 30-minute call with me to discuss what is on your mind.

JOIN THE NEXT PQ POD

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ERIN?

As Erin and her family continue their year of nomadic life, they will be exploring different states in the U.S. and also (as restrictions lift) different countries. In July, Erin will be staying with family in the state of Iowa, and in August spending time in Philadelphia, Vermont, and Maine.

Missed any past newsletters? Check out our newsletter archive here.

How to Release Judgment & Be Happier and More Successful

by | Jul 21, 2020 | Ezine

For the last 6 years, I have set an intention to be less judgmental of myself and others. I’ve learned through my yoga practice how to become aware of my attachments and aversions, and shift my attention and focus to what I instead want to have more of in my life.

So many of my thoughts – and your thoughts – have been subconsciously wired in through observing people and all types of news, entertainment, and social media. Consciously choosing what you want to integrate into your brain and body requires presence of mind – something that seems quite scarce in the busy, complex reality of modern living.

The root of judgments largely arises out of comparisons and unmet expectations. They are not like these other people; he is not doing what I wanted him to do; I am not performing as well as I should; etc.

A judgment names a gap in performance that, when recognized and unaddressed, causes disappointment or frustration or stress. Not only are the judgments and resulting negative emotions unnecessary, but they also cause undue stress and anxiety and – perhaps more importantly – disconnection in the relationships in your life that are so crucial for fulfillment, connection, and well-being – at home, at work, and in our community.

Quick note of distinction: a judgment is negative and is different from discernment. Here, I am talking about judgements.

In June, I completed a six-week course that finally answered the request at the heart of my long-held intention: providing me with the tools to stop negatively judging myself, others, and circumstances. Well, not 100%, but at least 80%! In its place I now activate my wiser, more sage self and employ discernment. More on this in August.

The result is I am not experiencing the self-inflicted criticism that came from self-judgement, nor am I negatively judging others causing painful separation…. nor am I feeling as much stress or anxiety as life unfolds with unexpected twists and turns. Instead, I am feeling happier, more accepting, and more in the flow. I am more resilient and creative and more collaborative. All qualities I need, and really what we ALL need in today’s rapidly transforming world!

Want to know more? Over the past couple weeks, I’ve shared a selection of the practices I have learned in this course – and again this week I’m sharing another practice, with a focus on removing judgement to reduce your stress and boost your happiness and productivity. Stay tuned for next week’s more detailed introduction to this new “operating system” I’ve learned – and how you can take the same six-week course I took at no cost to you.

woman in yellow relaxing

2 Minute “Reps” to Remove Judgment from Your Observations*

Read over these instructions, then close your eyes and move through the steps on your own.

With your mind’s attention, scan your body and notice which of your senses commands the most attention: is it something you are hearing? Or a physical tension or sensation anywhere on your body? A smell or something else? Focus on that dominant sensation and label it now, in the moment that your attention is on that sensation. If your attention stays with that same sensation, label it again…. and again…. until your focus moves to another point of attention. Then label that next sensation.

For example, if you feel soreness in your elbow, you might label it: soreness, elbow, soreness, elbow… until your attention moves to the aroma of coffee floating on the air from another room, in which case you might label it: coffee, smell, coffee, smell. Continue to label that until your attention moves to, perhaps a sound of distant fire engine: siren, loud, siren, louder, siren, softer, siren.

When your mind starts to describe the sensation further or get lost in story, let those details go and come back to the simplest single word descriptive label. For example, if the sore elbow reminds you of how you hit it on the bannister while walking down the stairs and your dog tripped you under your feet and that darn dog… then you drop that story and come back to… elbow, elbow, elbow. And if the aroma of coffee makes your mind wander to the fact that you used the last coffee filter this morning and why didn’t your partner buy them at the store, then you drop that and come back to… coffee, aroma, coffee. And so on.

Continue to practice following your attention to the most dominant sensation, then label it, and in each moment checking the next sensation and label it.

Set your timer for 1 minute or 2 minutes to practice this. And once the timer sounds, take two or three easy breaths, noticing the rise and fall of your chest or stomach.

This practice, in the moment, is focused on your senses and labeling them in the simplest way. It is also teaching your mind to NOT get caught up in story or negative experience or judgement or blaming or re-hashing old hurts. Thus, you are literally re-writing your brain to let go of judgment – a practice that will serve you in all situations, in all the roles you play in your life.

Once you have finished this practice, take a final full and deep breath and resume your regular activity.

This practice is one of hundreds from the course I’ve been telling you about these past few weeks. Be sure you read next week’s email when I introduce you to a more detailed description of the course and the operating system it teaches you. Can’t wait to see if you’ll be interested in joining the first offering of this free course!

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ERIN?
As Erin and her family continue their year of nomadic life, they will be exploring different states in the U.S. and also (as restrictions lift) different countries. In July, Erin will be staying with family in the state of Iowa.

Need a Break from Feeling Tense? Try this!

by | Jul 14, 2020 | Ezine

The root of most tension in the body is stress and anxiety. And the root of stress and anxiety is in your thoughts – the thoughts you have about the circumstances and people to which you may attribute your “problems”, which cause your stress and anxiety.

As you know, I’ve used yoga, meditation, Reiki, and other practices the past 20+ years to separate myself from my thoughts, to shift my nervous system, to boost my productivity, and re-wire my neural patterns. These approaches have worked well, but require carving out large chunks of time – and I’ve long craved a simpler approach that can be easily integrated into my day with greater ease.

Recently, I completed a six-week course that complemented and brought together the many practices and executive & leadership frameworks I’ve drawn on over the decades. It has worked so well, in fact, that I find my inner skeptic occasionally poking me and asking: is this really still working?

I’ve greatly boosted my ability to quickly shift from feeling triggered to being able to feel grounded, clear-headed, and resourceful. I am much LESS often caught up in critical judgments about myself, about others, or my circumstances. I am sleeping better and feeling better about all my relationships.

Want to know more? Over the next couple weeks, I will continue to share a selection of the practices I have learned — and also let you know how you can also take this same six-week course at no cost.

2 Minute “Reps” to Reduce Tension & Invite Relaxation*

2 Minute

Try this at least an hour (and ideally longer) after your most recent meal or snack. Practicing this while full can cause discomfort.

Please sit comfortably with your spine straight and relaxed. Your head straight, your chest open, your feet flat on the floor. After you’ve read over this basic practice, set a timer for 2 minutes and follow these steps again with your eyes closed.

Be careful not to hurt yourself as you do this: go ahead and tense up ALL the muscles of your body, from head and toe. Tense up your skull, your forehead, your eyes, your cheeks, your jaws. Tense up your neck, shoulders, arms, and hands. Tense up your chest and stomach. Tense up your seat, thighs, legs, and feet.

As you do this, really notice all your physical sensations, scanning all parts of the body: be fascinated by all aspects of the physical experience of how your body feels when you tense up and tune-in to the sensations.

Then, let go of all that tension. Let go of all of tightening and holding, easing away from the edge of tension, releasing more into the spaciousness that remains after you let go of the tension. Tune into the more relaxed sensations throughout your body. Notice the rise and fall of your chest or stomach with each breath. Take your time and when you feel ready, open your eyes.

Take a final deep breath and resume your normal activity.

Keep an eye out for next Tuesday’s email in which I share a practice to release judgement in support of your happiness and success!

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ERIN?

As Erin and her family continue their year of nomadic life, they will be exploring different states in the U.S. and also (as restrictions lift) different countries. In July, Erin will be staying with family in the state of Iowa.

2 Minute “Fix” for Anxiety & Distraction

by | Jul 7, 2020 | Ezine

The root of all stress and anxiety is NOT your current circumstances or what other people are doing to you. The root of all stress and anxiety is in your thoughts – the thoughts you have about those circumstances and people.

For years, I’ve used meditation and other practices to separate myself from my thoughts, to shift my nervous system, and re-wire my neural patterns. This approach has worked well, but requires continual daily practice.

Recently, I completed a six-week course that greatly boosted my ability to quickly shift from feeling triggered to being able to feel grounded, clear-headed, and resourceful. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing a selection of the practices I have learned and also let you know how you can also take this same six-week course at no cost.

2 Minute “Reps” for Anxiety & Distraction*

Please sit comfortably with your spine straight and relaxed. Your head straight, your chest open, your feet flat on the floor. After you’ve read over this basic practice, set a timer for 2 minutes and follow these steps again with your eyes closed.

Take your right hand and place it on your heart and notice your heart beat. Your heart beat sensation might be very subtle, so you might need to move your hand around a little, or press a little harder to feel your heart beat through your hand.

Continue to notice your heartbeat with your hand. As thoughts come or as sounds in your environment distract you, gently let them go and re-focus on your heartbeat and your hand. Continue to breathe two or three full rounds of breath and feel your heartbeat with your hand.

Next put your right hand on your stomach and notice the gentle rising and falling of your stomach with each breath. Continue to breathe and feel your stomach moving with each breath. As thoughts come or as sounds in your environment distract you, gently let them go and re-focus on your stomach and your hand. Continue to breathe two or three full rounds of breath and feel your stomach rising and falling with your hand.

Now do some reps with your sense of touch. Rub the tip of the first finger of your right hand gently together with the tip of the thumb of your right hand, gently sliding the tips back and forth across one another with just enough tension that you can feel the fingertip ridges on each fingers. Explore the sensations with the full focus of your mind as the finger and thumb gently move over one another.

Breathe and feel the sensations of the finger and thumb tips. As thoughts come or as sounds in your environment distract you, gently let them go and re-focus on your finger and thumb tips. Continue to breathe two or three full rounds of breath with this focus on the tactile sensations in your hand.

Once you have completed two to three breaths with focus on your heartbeat, then two to three breaths with focus on your stomach and breath rising and falling, then two to three breaths with focus on the tactile sensations between your first finger and thumb, notice any changes in the quality of your physical being and your mental state, and open your eyes.

Take a final deep breath and resume your normal activity.

Look for next Tuesday’s e-mail in which I share a practice to reduce tension and invite relaxation, so you can buld your resilience against the war that your negative thoughts wage against you.

Nomadic life begins | Are you ready to follow your dream?

by | Jun 25, 2020 | Ezine

Years prior to COVID-19, my husband and I dreamed of taking our two sons abroad for a year to expose them to other cultures, languages, and ways of living. In January, we made the official decision that we would go for it: sell the house, store our belongings, pack light, work part-time from different time zones with our laptops, and world-school the kids. Then COVID-19 arrived and changed our plans.

WHAT DESTINATION IS SET IN YOUR GPS?
My experience the past several months has been an important affirmation of a practice I have used for myself and with clients the past 16 years: when you have a dream, go for it. And just like when you enter a destination on a GPS, the exact path you take may change along the way. There may also be times when you decide to alter the ultimate destination in the GPS.

ADJUST AS YOU GO
Ultimately, once you reach your chosen destination, you may set your eyes on yet another goal or dream or destination. Along the way, be present to what is happening, notice what comes with ease, and be cautious about when it feels like you are pushing a boulder up the hill. These are all signs for when adjustments may be needed or when you are on the right path.

MOURNING THE LOSS, THEN REVIVING THE DREAM
For my family, in March and April, we decided to scrap our original travel plans and let go of the current version of the dream. There was definitely some sadness and mourning for that loss. That is, until we decided: someway, somehow, we are going. We revised our dream, and refreshed our research, and now have a new plan — all the while knowing it may change at the last minute.

Family hike

ADAPTABILITY & RESILIENCE
Both my husband and I are planners. And like most human beings I know, we like to anticipate the different variables and do our best to control the outcomes. But, a key lesson from our COVID-19 experience has been to let go of detailed planning, to be clear in intention in our heart, but flexible in our minds and actions. So while we have a plan, it is truly written in pencil: we know we may need to erase it and re-write it at any moment.

THE NEW PLAN
Thus, instead of selling our house, we have rented it out for the year starting July 1. Instead of traveling to Southern European countries in the Fall, we are planning to start our adventure in September in Costa Rica. After that, while we hope to go next to Argentina, and then after the New Year head to Japan and then Bali, we know that travel restrictions, a return of a second round of COVID, and many other unknowns could arise that could change our plan. But, we are committed. And excited!

FREEDOM AND EXCITEMENT
As we begin our nomadic year, I feel a sense of freedom and excitement: with only a few bags of clothing and gear, we have the ability to be nimble. We’ve saved up our travel points and airline miles, and with flights so inexpensive, there are so many possibilities ahead. With no mortgage and no private school tuitions for our kids, our expenses are vastly lower. It truly feels like the world is our oyster — and as we go we will discover many beautiful pearls through our adventure.

WORKING FROM ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD
With the gifts that come with laptops, tablets, phones, local data plans, and wifi, we are truly able to work (and access kids’ educational resources) wherever we go. Our expectation of this tech-based flexibility has been tested these few months, with the quarantine restrictions in many ways giving us a chance to try out many of our ideas.

MAY MY CRAZY PLAN INSPIRE YOU
Whatever your personal opinion may be of our plan for a nomadic, world-schooling, family gap year, my hope is that it may INSPIRE you to think about how YOU can enter into your GPS your desired dream, goal, or destination. Then, hold the space for it to come true in your heart, and adjust daily and weekly as new information becomes available and experiences unfold.

LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR DREAM!
If you yourself could benefit from partnering with a coach like me to help you clarify your vision or goal or destination, I’d love to work with you! I’m currently scheduling calls for July and the first half of August. I’ll be working from the Central and Eastern time zones the rest of the summer, then the equivalent of Mountain time zone once we land in Costa Rica in mid-September.

You can find some time on my calendar here: https://calendly.com/erin_owen/.

Here’s to living into your dream!
Erin

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