Last week, two blocks from my house, a large group of white men stood with bats on the street, supposedly to protect the neighborhood. From who? Not sure.

This was after curfew. Located just feet away there stood a line of police officers blocking the local station, looking on but doing nothing about these very intimidating men with bats. It was scary. I felt unsafe in my own neighborhood.

Later on, it came to light that some officers were posing selfie-style with some of the men with bats, posted all over social media. Troubling to say the least.

Meanwhile, across the city in the neighborhood where my husband’s high school is located, black citizens were tear gassed and pepper sprayed for being out after curfew and, well, I’ll say it: for being black. Part of a long history of people of color being stopped while driving, while walking, while jogging, targeted for being black.

I would not know about this if friends did not tell me this happened to them. This is not taught in history class, and I am not black and thus had never experienced it. The closest I have ever known is the “normal” fear I experience whenever walking at night as a woman. Similar to how a straight man will rarely know the fear a woman has walking alone, I also do not understand the experience of my black and brown friends.

This is not okay. I am aware this is a result of the history we ALL have inherited from the time of enslaved Africans being bought and sold in the US to work the plantations and literally be the backbone of the early years of the US economy. 

Since then there has been a history of governmental policies that intentionally discriminated against and disenfranchised black people. Add to that discriminatory, intentionally destructive, violent and often life-ending behavior of white people against black and brown people, and the recent protests against police brutality and legal system injustices totally make sense to me.

While I have never experienced being turned down for a job or a loan because I am black, I am aware that women in the US have only been legally allowed to get a credit card or a bank loan without a male family member or husband since 1985. That is not that long ago: 35 years, a shorter period of time than the years of my lifetime. 

Since the time of slavery, for hundreds of years, there has been a pervasive practice of race-based discrimination that affects access to capital, access to housing, access to jobs, access to office space, and on and on.

You may be wondering, “What is my role to play in this?” And I’m so glad you too are pondering this question. It’s about much more than a one time donation to the National Association of Black Journalists or the NAACP.

It’s about much more than protesting in your local area. It’s about much more than the reform of police use of force. It’s about much more than examining our gun laws.

*It’s about LISTENING with compassion and curiosity.

*It’s about OBSERVING your own subconscious thoughts and conscious behavior: what assumptions are you making about any one individual based on their skin color?

*It’s about ASKING yourself: what can I learn, who can I support, how can I be part of the solution?

“A time comes when silence is betrayal” MLK

And to all my clients in and from Hong Kong and China: you have so much going on at home right now that perhaps the events in the US seem like back page news, and I understand that too. Ask yourself: “what is my role to play in those circumstances?”

In a professional development course I am taking right now, the question posed daily is: “how can this outcome or circumstance be turned into an opportunity or gift?”

I have to admit that some days, with all that is going on, I feel like smacking the teacher when he asks that question.

But then, at others times, when my nervous system has calmed down and I am able to look at the world around me with more grounded clarity, I can see that there is in fact so much good that can be built out of these challenging circumstances.

I am also asking myself: “how can I use my status & resources for the greater good?” A recent post on social media really resonates with me and reminds me to not do nothing because Silence is Violence.

No matter the role you choose to play, the organization you donate to support, the decisions you make to support black and brown people, please know that now is NOT the time to be complacent or silent.

Now is the time to LISTEN, OBSERVE, and ASK yourself: “what is my role to play?”

If you’re open to read more and learn about the experience of my brother-in-law (a black man, who was born in Eritrea, is a US citizen and lives in Philadelphia), written from the perspective of my white sister-in-law, please click here: The Importance of Being Unsettled: Deeply, Permanently Unsettled.

If you’re open to learning more about the challenging economic realities of black Americans and the history that has contributed to current disparities and economic injustice, please watch Maggie Anderson’s TEDx talk about the year that her family tried to spend all their money only with black-owned businesses and the challenges they encountered. If you prefer to read her book, you can purchase it from a black-owned bookstore. Find a list of those independent businesses here. 

With a heavy heart and a huge volume of hope, here’s to OUR collective evolution,

Erin Owen, MBA, PCC, JCTC
Executive Coach since 2004
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinowen/

How would you respond to these statements? (Be honest!)

1. I am in charge of my time  Most of the time?  Sometimes?  Rarely?
2. My calendar dictates my daily life  Most of the time?  Sometimes?  Rarely?
3. My stress level is manageable  Most of the time?  Sometimes?  Rarely?

During the webinar I led last Friday with members of the Beacon Professional Network, I asked the above question and also shared two frameworks to support participants to:

• assess the degree to which you are spending time aligned with what is most important
• and learn how to prioritize the “important” (not the “urgent”)

What did not surprise me was:

How significantly the current stay-at-home restrictions have changed how people allocate their time and the impact these changes have made on them: both positively and in many not-so-great ways. The key challenge seemed to be the need for better boundaries to shift away from too much time on Zoom and too many hours working. And the key benefit seemed to be more quality time with family.

Are you Focusing on What’s Important?

During the webinar I guided participants to take the Four Way View, a core assessment in the Total Leadership program which I’ve facilitated for 10+ years. This assessment generates a clear picture of what is most important for you and the degree to which your choices for how you spend your time are aligned with that importance.

If you’d like to do this exercise yourself, it is available online for free here. And you can learn more about its creator Stew Friedman and his work here. In last week’s webinar, I also shared the following version of the Eisenhower Matrix as a tool for how to focus on what is most important.

How will you live and lead in your new circumstances?

There is no going back to “normal” now, as the world will not revert to the way it was before COVID-19 and you cannot forget the awareness you’ve gained over the past couple months. With new insights into what is most important and what changes you’d like to make moving forward, you can create your own way to adapt and thrive in your new circumstances.

If you’d like to talk more about the frameworks shared above or how coaching can support you in re-framing and re-creating your future life and career, I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching session with me via my online calendar. If you’d like to skip the free session and dive straight into a more in-depth assessment and planning session, learn more about “Crisis to Clarity” coaching here.

The world needs more flexible and resilient leaders, who lead from the heart with compassion and the brain with ingenuity. I am grateful to be called to this line of work called professional coaching, in which I’ve consulted with and coached over a thousand leaders over the years, and supported leaders like you in cultivating the exact competencies we most need now.

As the weather gets warmer in the northern hemisphere and nature calls you outside, please use caution and stay healthy by following the guidance of your local government.

Here’s to thriving (not just surviving)!

Erin Owen, MBA, PCC, JCTC
Executive Coach since 2004
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinowen/

Read Past Newsletters
Have you missed previous email newsletters? You can find them in the online archive here.

Last week, I shared different frameworks and strategies used in recent coaching sessions with my executive coaching clients that are helpful for managing uncertainty. In this email, I’m including more details on one of those I referenced. Consider this helpful content to build the leadership muscle of self-management that is a partner to self-awareness. Also, scroll below to learn more about the live webinar I’ll be leading on the topic of “How to Avoid the Urgent Becoming the Important” on Friday, May 15. And be in touch if you’d like to discuss further!

How To Self-Manage in the Era of Uncertainty

It’s one thing to build greater emotional intelligence by understanding your own emotions and also how to read and manage others’ emotional reactions. It’s yet another to have to do all of this in the midst of a crisis – whether that be an acute crisis or an on-going crisis state like the current one.

Steven D’Souza, co-author of the book Not Knowing, was one of the guest teachers in a recent professional training course I completed. Fortunately, he shared his research and explorations in the context of COVID-19, which made the content that much more relevant and useful. Here’s my own interpretation (Cliff Notes style) of what I learned from Steven and how you can apply it right now.

1. Knowing how you respond in challenging circumstances is a critical piece of self-awareness
2. Learning how to manage yourself and your typical responses in uncertain situations is an absolute PRE-requisite before you can attempt to lead others
3. Knowing how others may respond in a crisis can help prevent you from getting triggered and prevent you from taking their reactions personally, as well as help you understand how to best support them
4. Effective leaders self-manage and are able to support others in parallel, in part by risking vulnerability and sharing how the uncertainty impacts them personally
5. Being human at a time of crisis creates an opportunity to connect on a more deeply personal level with those you lead (at work and in your family)
6. This will not be the last time we experience uncertainty, so now is the time to learn how you respond, learn how to manage yourself, and learn how to support others through the uncertainty

Here are the key words that describe the typical ways we as humans (and leaders!) respond to uncertainty.* Where do you see yourself?

• Take Control
• Be Passive / Resign Ourselves to Do Nothing
• Get stuck in Paralysis by Over-Analysis
• Practice Catastrophic thinking: if this, then that, then… everything crashes and burns
• Rush to Action
• Procrastinate / Resist Taking Action
• Keep our Head in the Clouds / Live in Denial

As I wrote above, self-management is an important partner to self-awareness. It’s what you do with your awareness – especially in a challenging time like now – that makes or breaks the effectiveness of your leadership choices and actions.

I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching session to experience the power of coaching. Working with me as your executive coach can support you in building greater resiliency, emotional intelligence, and leadership effectiveness – competencies that will serve you now and in the long-term.

How to Avoid “the Urgent” Becoming the Important | May 15 at 9:30 am ET

Learn More & Register

You are invited to join this live webinar hosted by the Beacon Professional Networking organization, based in Philadelphia. All you need is wifi, but registration is required to receive the Zoom link and call-in details.

During this hour, I will share the Total Leadership^TM Four Way view and the Eisenhower matrix so you can assess the current state of your life and learn how to make smarter choices to re-focus your attention on what is truly most important. This webinar includes a hands-on exercise and an interactive diad/triad activity that will be conducted in virtual break-out rooms. Come ready to learn and engage for the benefit of you and others in your network! While this is hosted by Beacon, all are welcome, so please join us and share with others.

You will learn:

• How important each domain of your life really is to you: work, home, community and self
• The degree to which you are spending time aligned with what is most important
• How satisfied you are with the choices you are making
• Specific tips to Do, Defer, Delegate or Delete so you avoid “the urgent” becoming the important

Hope to see you online on May 15!

In service to your leadership growth,

Erin Owen, MBA, PCC, JCTC
Executive Coach since 2004
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinowen/

*Source: Steven D’Souza, as shared in the class he led called “Coaching From the Space of Not Knowing” in the four-month long certification course Erin recently completed called “Become a  Transformative Presence” coach training.

To what degree are you present in your mind and present in your body in this moment?

Take a moment to check-in with yourself. Take a conscious breath and pause. And ask yourself:

“To what degree am I present in my mind and present in my body in this moment?”

FRAMEWORKS TO LOCATE YOURSELF & RETURN TO RESILIENCY
Taking the time to locate yourself a couple times each day can be a helpful way to feel more grounded and anchored to what is happening right now. Neither the past nor the future are real. Only this moment is real.

In my recent coaching sessions with clients, some clients have found it helpful to locate themselves using the aid of a framework. Some clients have really appreciated the Steven D’Souza framework shared in his book Not Knowing. (You can watch his TedX talk on the same theme here.) Other clients have been working with me to use the Conscious Leadership Group’s “Above the Line” framework, which you can learn more about here.

WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE DURING & AFTER COVID-19?
In this email, I am sharing a framework that you also may have seen in a recent content post on social media. I am grateful to my coaching colleague Michael Levine who tracked down the origin of this framework to its source: an emergency room physician in India named Dr. Monika Langeh.

Where do you see yourself in this frame in this moment? In the fear zone? the learning zone? the growth zone?

Perhaps you vacillate between zones throughout the day depending on what is happening in your mind and in your environment. Notice what inspires you to shift from left to right, and also what may trigger you to stay in the fear zone or move right to left.

Have you noticed a progression in your experience over the days, weeks, and months of our shared COVID-19 era? Perhaps you have shifted from being primarily in the fear zone for the first 2-3 weeks, then finding your ground and spending some time in the learning zone. With frequent “tests” on your stability and ability to respond to uncertainty, it may be too difficult for you to stay in the learning zone for more than a few minutes at a time. And if you’ve found yourself at times in the growth zone, notice what supports you in arriving here and staying here. For me, a daily meditation practice is critical.

UTILIZE COACHING SUPPORT TO BUILD RESILIENCY & RESOURCEFULNESS
Try a sample coaching session!
If you are not currently supported by a coach and you would benefit to have the ear of a neutral advocate, I invite you to try out a sample coaching session with me. I am currently offering 15- and 30-minute complimentary coaching sessions, which you can schedule here: https://calendly.com/erin_owen/

In this sample coaching session, I will guide you to shift to being present, locate yourself and find your ground, and remember who you are and who you want to be. After this sample coaching session, if you’d like to continue, please know my offer of discounted coaching is still available through the end of this period of restriction. You can purchase the discounted sessions to use now or save them to use in the next three months, as serves you best. See details below.

Birthday & Anniversary SPECIAL OFFER ends on May 31st
In honor of my 48th birthday (which was in March) and the 16th anniversary of starting my coaching business (which was in February), I am offering a package of 4 (four) or 8 (eight) or 16 (sixteen) half-hour coaching sessions for just $64 per coaching session. (48 + 16 = 64. Basic celebratory math!)

This is more than 50% discount off my regular coaching rate!
All coaching takes place via phone or Zoom video platform, from the comfort of your home or new home office location.

This offer is for returning clients AND new clients, and for a limited time only: you must purchase before the end of May and then use the sessions in the months of May and June (if you purchase 4) or in the months of May, June, and July (if you purchase 8) or use them all by end of August (if you purchase 16). Half-hour sessions can be combined for full one-hour coaching sessions, if you prefer.

How to invest in yourself and take advantage of this special offer:
Send $256.00 USD (package of 4) or $512.00 USD (package of 8) or $1,205.00 USD (package of 16) via PayPal to Erin@ErinOwen.com or via Venmo to @ErinOwenPhiladelphia, then use the Schedule Now button below to schedule your first half-hour coaching call.

I am with you, one moment at a time,

Erin Owen, MBA, PCC, JCTC
Executive Coach since 2004
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinowen/

Poet Khalil Gibran writes

The invitation is to be present with what is happening now, inside of you and outside in the world around you, so you can share in that delight.

What is yours to know now?

What is yours to experience now?

What is your present moment truth?

What is the true action that calls to you?

Here’s to you, in all your present moment glorious-ness!

Erin Owen, MBA, PCC, JCTC
Executive Career Reinvention
https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinowen/
To start your Executive Career Reinvention^TM program, apply for an initial call with me here.
Let’s talk! https://calendly.com/erin_owen/30min