Almost exactly one year ago, I wrote to you about my family of four’s plan to begin a nomadic family gap year. In today’s reflection, I share some key highlights and lessons learned. If you did not read last year’s post or want a refresh, find it here: Nomadic Life Begins.
The Matrix is What You Make It
The past 15 months, we have all experienced a disruption in routine in some form. What has become clear to me is that, even though I’ve often chosen the path less travelled in my life, my eyes have become wide open to so many different ways of living. What I accept is what defines and limits my possibilities. What I dream and make of life is what it really comes to be.
Observations from Our Experience
During our travels throughout the US, Costa Rica, and Mexico, I learned:
By shifting our primary focus to family and slowing down we got to know our kids more for who they really are, rather than who we thought they were or should be.
We can work from anywhere doing pretty much anything, and if the kind of work requires an internet connection, then choose wisely where you stay!
Kids can go to school anywhere, including options for world-schooling, home schooling, and unschooling – the families and kids we met seemed so much happier, more grounded, and less stressed to not be part of the reality we had unplugged from.
We have way too much stuff! Even though we donated and gave away a significant amount of our clothing, furniture, and other items before we left, we’ve been wondering all year “other than kitchen stuff, why exactly do we need all that other stuff we have in storage?”
Flexibility and adaptability are critical: as you know from your own year, nothing can be planned or counted upon during a global pandemic. Our travel itinerary changed numerous times.
Strong mental fitness makes for more easily riding the waves of unexpected change. If you’ve been reading and following my blog posts this past year, you know just how much I relied on and benefitted from the tools taught by Shirzad Chamine. By the way, I officially received my certification as a Positive Intelligence Mental Fitness Coach in early June!
A Gift of a Year!
My husband Matt, sons Ian and Miles, and I ultimately enjoyed a year that was more amazing than we could have ever planned. We enjoyed significantly more time with extended family, traveled to see beautiful and foreign geography in the west and southwest of the U.S. that we hope to return to see again, and were happily surprised that our international travels took us to Costa Rica twice and Baja California Sur in Mexico for these final three weeks. No Europe and no Asia as originally planned, and yet such a gift!
May My Crazy Year Inspire You
I’ll say again now what I said nearly one year ago: my hope is that my own successful experience pulling off our off-the-matrix, family nomadic gap year, may INSPIRE you to think about how YOU can enter into your GPS your desired dream, goal, or destination. Then, hold the space for it to come true in your heart, and adjust daily and weekly as new information becomes available, and experiences unfold.
What do you pay more attention to: your inner voice or the constant nagging distraction of notifications that pop-up on your smart phone, tablet, and computer?
What do you give more credibility to: your gut instincts or your Judge – that universal inner critic we all struggle to silence?
When sitting with another human being, what do you pay more attention to: the other person’s words and body language, or your internal voice that pushes forward the laundry list of things you want to say in response?
When actively moving your body (jogging, cycling, hiking, rowing, etc.,), where does your attention go? To your breath and heartbeat? To your surroundings? To your thoughts? To the music coming through your ear buds? The performance of others moving near you?
My invitation to you:
Tune in. Notice. Observe.
Why?Wherever you direct your attention, energy follows.* In other words: you get more of what you are focusing on.
Ask yourself: are you focusing on what you want more of?
Bring your mind into alignment with your vision in each moment. It’s not easy, but it’s straight forward.
Build your alignment muscle by practicing again and again and again and again and again and again… you get the idea.
To be more focused and productive: focus your attention on the single task you are performing.
To connect more deeply and better understand others: breathe and listen with curiosity, ignoring that ego-based need to share your ideas and opinions: be fully present with the other and appreciate your experience and what you can learn by doing so.
To reduce stress and preserve precious life force energy: turn off audio and visual notifications from your email, social media, and other apps. You can always carve out time later to check them with focused attention.
Remember:Wherever you direct your attention, energy follows.* You get more of what you are focusing on in life, in relationships, and in work.
*Erin’s 2nd foundational principle — learned from the practice of yoga asana — with infinite applications in life off the mat.
We’re finally here: ready to explore the final Sage Power. If you’ve travelled with me on this journey to learn more about the Judge and the 9 Accomplish Saboteurs, and then more recently the Sage Perspective and the Sage Powers, fantastic! I acknowledge, appreciate, and celebrate your curiosity and openness to learn more in order to strengthen your mental fitness. If you want to catch up on any of these topics before reading about today’s final Sage Power, I invite you to explore past blog postshere.
WHEN TO USE THE ACTIVATE POWER?*
As the Activate power is the final of the five powers (Empathy, Explore, Innovate, Navigate, then Activate), you will experience the greatest benefit in using it after you FIRST shift to Empathy for self and others, SECOND creatively examine what are the factors at play in the situation you perceive to be a challenge (using the Explore power), THIRD expand your options to address the challenge (using the Innovate power), and FOURTH use the Navigate power to determine the best path forward.
WHY USE THE ACTIVATE POWER?*
To ensure a smooth and successful path forward! By bringing online the Sage parts of the brain that correspond to creativity, empathy, and laser-focused clarity, you will move forward without the type of disruption you may have experienced in the past with saboteur interference. By using the Activate power, when you encounter new hurdles, small or big, you’ll be able to more quickly shift to positive Sage emotion and continue to dynamically utilize whichever of the Sage powers best serves the purpose in each moment.
Over time, as you practice shifting to Sage and utilizing these powers more and more, you will strengthen the neural pathways in the brain that light up and connect to your Sage brain.
When I recently re-took the Saboteur and PQ Score assessments I saw concrete evidence of the significant shift of experience I have had over the past year…. weaker Saboteurs, stronger Sage… which translates to sustained happiness, higher levels of performance, and more positive relationships. This work is worth it!
Click to enlarge
HOW TO USE THE ACTIVATE POWER?*
In the Positive Intelligence mental fitness model, its creator Shirzad Chamine shares a recommended Activate “power game” called “Pre-empt the Saboteurs.” In addition, I have found it deeply beneficial to explore the thoughts that arise with each saboteur using a sequence of question prompts. Below I share details on how to utilize both of these practices as part of employing this final Sage power. Read on to learn more, and be in touch with any clarification questions.
HOW TO PRE-EMPT DAMAGING SABOTEUR BEHAVIOR:
Step 1: Ask yourself: “Now that I am clear on what action is most fitting to address my challenge, which of my saboteurs are most likely to show up and try to get in my way?”
Step 2: Make a list of the saboteurs.
Step 3: For each saboteur, state out loud or write down specifics about how that saboteur will try to derail you or disrupt your success. Include:
Words it might speak to you quietly (or loudly) in your own mind
What it might do to interfere with your interactions with other people
How it might try to trip you up through misdirection or overcomplication or other means.
The more detailed you can document, the more likely you will quickly and successfully identify the saboteur behavior in the moment.
Step 4: For each saboteur thought or action, then clarify what you will say in response, or what you can do instead to stop the saboteur in its tracks. This might include doing PQ reps to shift to Sage, or calling a friend who is an accountability buddy, or reminding yourself of your intended goal, or a response statement you say in your mind to tell truth to your saboteur’s lie.
The key idea with this fourth step is to put in place a game plan for every likely saboteur action so your saboteurs are unsuccessful.
HOW TO EMPLOY ERIN’S ADDITIONAL TACTIC
If you notice a particularly tricky lie a saboteur tells you, or an area where you repeatedly get stuck, you can try an additional approach I use in coaching my clients. This tactic involves using a question prompt repeatedly until you have the clarity you need to move forward without saboteur interference.
I recommend you do this with a friend in dialogue OR you can do it on your own by writing it down like a script using the following template. To bring this to life, I’ll use the situation where your saboteur tells you that “you don’t have enough time”.
NOTE: When you use this tactic, start by substituting your own saboteur’s lie in place of “you don’t have enough time” and follow along with this format.
When you say “I don’t have enough time”, what does that mean?
[You write down whatever comes to mind, then restate it with the words “what does that mean?” after your words. For example…”]
“It means I’m not making this a priority.”
When you say “I’m not making this a priority,” what does that mean?
“That means that most likely my Avoider saboteur is afraid of dealing with this situation.”
When you say “my Avoider saboteur is afraid of dealing with this situation”, what does that mean?
“It means I need to pause, do some PQ reps, for as long as it takes for me to shift to Sage, then remind myself why this is so important to me.”
You repeat this format until you have an insight or realize what you need to do in order to move forward without saboteur interference. There may be times when this exchange repeats numerous times for many minutes and ultimately reveals a deep-seeded underlying belief that is at the heart of a particular saboteur’s lies and disruptive behavior.
I have found this approach to be more powerful when practiced either with another person or after you have done PQ reps to shift more deeply into Sage mode.
By using the “pre-empt the saboteur” power game and, if needed, the additional tactic illustrated above, you channel your Sage super powers to generate the best possible result.
Using the Activate power has become a habit for me, such that when I notice a saboteur response to an activity I previously did not like (such as answering my accountant’s questions), I immediately ask myself, “Okay, which saboteurs might show up and what am I going to do about it?” In this way, I very quickly and seamlessly am able to skip over the drama and foot dragging of my Avoider saboteur. The benefits? I get the work done in a fraction of the time, saving me mental and emotional exhaustion, as well as precious time. When you use your Activate power and try these approaches, please email me to let me know how this worked for you and what insights you gained.
Learn More
To read about the overall Positive Intelligence model and foundational mental fitness training program, I’ve included an overview of the model on my website. To read previous blog posts about the Sage Perspective and the 10 Saboteurs, start here.
*Source: Shirzad Chamine and his Positive Intelligence mental fitness model. Erin completed her certification with Shirzad and Positive Intelligence, Inc. in the spring of 2021 and is now a Certified Positive Intelligence mental fitness coach (CPQC).
What if you could find almost immediate guidance within yourself at any time, in any place, in any situation in your life, without needing to leave your home, or call a friend, or seek the support of a therapist? What if? This is what I find to be so essentially useful and (at times) life-saving about the Sage power I’m writing about this week. It’s called the Navigate power*.
WHEN TO USE THE NAVIGATE POWER?
After you have creatively explored many different options and points of view using the Innovate power and you need to clarify what is most important and what you can let go of: that is an excellent time to use the Navigate power.
THE BENEFITS
Once activated, the Navigate power will help you to:
Clarify what is most important
Discern what is no longer useful or worthy of your mental and physical energy
Illuminate forgotten internal and external resources, whether they be skills, people, material, or monetary
Decide the best path forward in a way that is manageable and meaningful
HOW TO USE IT?*
In the Positive Intelligence mental fitness model, its creator Shirzad Chamine teaches a method to tap into a deep and true source of compelling discernment at the heart of the Navigate power: it is called a “power guide” in the Positive intelligence model and it is your own wiser, elder Self. Using this power guide is not quite as simple as turning on a light switch, but once you know how to do it, then you can activate it almost as quickly.
Here’s how:
Step 1: Shift into your Sage brain through some PQ reps – my favorite are breath and tactile reps. Many of my clients prefer movement reps which help them quickly get into their body and quiet the busy thinking mind.
Step 2:Once your brain is in Sage mode, then begin to visualize in your mind’s eyes your wiser, elder Self sitting (or standing) across from you. Since my pronouns are she/her, I’ll explain this using my own pronouns, but you can switch these out for your own:
>See her there and notice what her hair looks like: color, texture, length, style, and any movement.
>Then notice her face, skin of the face, facial expression and the quality of energy and light coming through her eyes as she gazes at you and shares the space with you.
>What does her body posture look like, and what overall energy does her being convey to you?
>Perhaps notice her clothing and anything around her: what is she standing or sitting on, and what (if anything) is in the space around her?
>Take in any other details of her form, energy, and being with curious noticing, until you get a clear idea of who she is and how she is showing up for you.
Step 3: Look her in the eye and invite her to have a dialogue with you, to invite her all-knowing, clear-seeing insights and guidance about your situation, knowing that she only has in mind your highest and greatest good. Ask her questions such as:
>What is most important about this situation?
>And what is not so important? What can I ignore or let go of?
>What is in my best interest to do or not do in this situation?
>What and who will be useful resources and supports for me as I move forward?
Continue to ask questions until you have clarity about your situation and what you want to do about it.
Step 4: Once you feel complete in your exploration with her, then extend sincere, heart-felt thanks to her for showing up for you!
I’ve now practiced this so many times that I can close my eyes and invite her in without as much preparation or imagining. Assuming I’m already in Sage brain, she is there for me almost immediately, ready to share her wisdom.
If you try this, please email me to let me know how this worked for you and what insights you gained. After you learn the final Sage power next week, you’ll then have the final ingredient to ensure you are able to move forward with the full range and depth of your best self without obstruction from those nasty saboteurs.
What’s Ahead
Next week I’ll reveal the final of the five Sage Powers and share with you how you can bring them all together (with the Sage Perspective) for the greatest potential benefit. Thanks for coming along with me on this journey to learn how to weaken the negative influences of the saboteurs so you can tap into and channel your Sage brain for greater mental well-being, stronger relationships, and your highest level of performance.
Learn More To read about the overall Positive Intelligence model and foundational mental fitness training program, I’ve included an overview of the model on my website. To read previous blog posts about the Sage Perspective and the 10 Saboteurs,start here.
*Source: Shirzad Chamine and his Positive Intelligence mental fitness model. Erin completed her certification with Shirzad and Positive Intelligence, Inc. in the spring of 2021 and is now a Certified Positive Intelligence mental fitness coach (CPQC).
Each week, I’ve been sharing one of the six ways you can use your Sage brain and activate your highest level of creativity, focus, and happiness. So far, you’ve learned about…
The Explore Power (a powerful tool to counter the nasty Judge saboteur)
And this week, I share two ways you can utilize the INNOVATE power – the 3rd of the five Sage powers. Why spend a few minutes learning about this power? It helps you get un-stuck, expand possibilities, generate new and innovative solutions, and look at people & situations through new Sage eyes.
WHAT IS THE INNOVATE POWER?*
The Sage Innovate power is one of five Sage powers that can be used to activate and channel positive emotions in service to your greatest possible creativity. When your Innovate power is online, you will happily surprise yourself with the insights and ideas that emerge. When working together with others, using the Innovate power game (see below for ways to activate the innovate power), the possibilities are positively magnified.
WHEN TO USE THE INNOVATE POWER
A fitting time to use the Innovate power is when you (or others) know you can benefit from generating a huge number of diverse ideas to consider before settling on a best course forward. This can be particularly useful with problem solving, but also for creating something new: a new service or product, a new process, a new way of managing time, a new parenting strategy, a new cash flow management approach, anything at all.
Another suitable application for the Innovate power is when you (others) want to expand your view of what is possible: when you are feeling stuck in a position or point of view; when you cannot see any other way forward; or when someone else is telling you that you are being too close-minded.
2 WAYS TO ACTIVATE THE INNOVATE POWER*
There is one official “power game” to be used with the Innovate power, as offered by Shirzad Chamine in the Positive Intelligence mental fitness approach. The power game, called the “Yes… And…” game will be familiar to you if you have participated in any creative brainstorming or design thinking exercises. The second way to activate the Innovate power is borrowed from this power game, but used in a slightly different way. I find it helpful for seeing possibilities when I and another person have quite different points of view. I invite you to read about both and use whichever calls to you for each situation.
THE “YES…. AND…” GAME*
The “Yes… And…” game is the official power game used in Positive Intelligence to channel the Innovate power. It is best employed with one or more people, in the following way.
First, define the challenge or problem or opportunity you want to develop more options to address. This first clarification step is important to ensure you all are talking about the same thing.
Next, remind yourself, and the others, that no idea is a bad idea. Everything goes. In the time period you define (e.g., 5 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, however long) that you play this game, there will be no criticizing or classifying or removing of ideas.
To play the game, the first person states any idea that pops into mind that could be employed to address the defined challenge or problem or opportunity. Then, the next person states one aspect of that idea that they like in the following format “Yes, what I like about that is…” then follows that statement by another idea that is inspired by the first idea, as follows “… and what that brings to mind is…”. Then this format continues, with each person stating what they like about the prior person’s like with the preceding words “Yes, what I like about that is…” and following with another new idea “… and that makes me think of…” and so on.
EXAMPLE:
A way to take a vacation without spending any money
IDEA #1:
Become adopted by a famous billionaire who then pays for our vacation
RESPONSE #1 and IDEA #2:
Yes, what I like about that idea is we’ll have a new family member soon, and that makes me think that Uncle Joe did actually offer for us to stay in his cabin in the Ozarks anytime he is not using it.
RESPONSE #2 and IDEA #3:
Yes, what I like about that is I’ve always wanted to visit the middle of the US, and that reminds me that I saw an online content to enter to win a week-long vacation to Nashville.
And so on, continuing for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, or for however long you determined.
How to wrap-up this power game?
At the close of the “Yes… And…” brainstorming, ask each person what their favorite ideas are, then work together to determine next steps, which might include further research, or taking action to execute on the chosen idea.
LOOKING FOR WHAT IS 10% RIGHT
This power game can be slightly adapted to help two people with opposing views to better understand one another and create common ground for moving forward together. To learn about this (or refresh your memory), read the original post about 10% right here.
THE BENEFITS
Once you’re in the positive Sage state of mind (experiencing positive emotions only), you can use the Innovate power to generate lots of ideas to feed into anything you’re working on – at home, with friends or family, at work, with colleagues, or even on your own as a verbal or writing brainstorming approach.
When you utilize the Sage Innovate power, you may experience one or more of these benefits:
Having fun with everyday work or life challenges or opportunities
Getting un-stuck when you can’t think of another way forward
Expanding your mind with many new and different possibilities you would otherwise not consider when moving forward in your normal way
Generating new and innovative solutions for how you work with others and how you get work done
Looking at people & situations through new Sage eyes
Winning an award for the most innovative solution!
In the next two weeks, I’ll share about the remaining two Sage Powers to round out your understanding of what’s possible with using the Positive Intelligence mental fitness model and activating the full array of benefits that come from shifting to and staying in Sage throughout each day of your life.
Learn More To read about the overall Positive Intelligence model and foundational mental fitness training program, I’ve included an overview of the model on my website. To read past blog posts about the Sage Perspective and the 10 Saboteurs, start here.
*Source: Shirzad Chamine and his Positive Intelligence mental fitness model. Erin completed her certification with Shirzad and Positive Intelligence, Inc. in the spring of 2021 and is now a Certified Positive Intelligence mental fitness coach (CPQC).
There are six Sage tools you can use to be your most creative and effective: the Sage Perspective and the Five Sage Powers. The Sage power that I have found to be best for countering the negative effects of the most powerful Judge saboteur is the EXPLORE power. In this week’s post, I explain how the Explore power can counter the three dimensions of the Judge and how you can use it to reduce stress, improve self-confidence, get along better with others, and generate more creative solutions to problems and challenges you’re facing.
To refresh your memory about the Judge (the nastiest of all the Saboteurs), you can refer back to this earlier post.
For the purposes of this post, I invite you to think of Judge as the sabotaging influence that narrows your options and makes you feel stressed & cornered. If you agree with the premise that having more options can be beneficial, then you’ll appreciate in contrast how the Explore power can expand your possibilities and allow you to breathe more easily.
WHAT IS THE EXPLORE POWER?*
The Explore power is one of five Sage powers you have access to when utilizing the positive Sage parts of the brain. Positive emotions are the currency of this power, and once you’ve activated Empathy your use of the Explore power will be even more, well, powerful!
The Explore power involves stepping back from the tight hold your current circumstances have on you to look at your situation with a wider lens. Examine your beliefs and your situation from a curious, non-judgmental outside perspective. Perhaps you can think of this as the bird’s eye view or the neutral observer role.
HOW TO ACTIVATE THE EXPLORE POWER*
You must first be in Sage mode to effectively utilize the Explore power. Why? If your saboteurs’ negative emotions are controlling your mind, you will not be able to see options or points of view other than the narrow view of the Saboteur.
In the Positive Intelligence model of mental fitness, author Shirzad Chamine offers a useful “power guide” for the Explore power called the “Fascinated Anthropologist”. Once in Sage mode, you step back from your situation and look through the lens of the Fascinated Anthropologist to ask open questions, look for new and unexpected information, all in service to seeing what you previously could not see.
USE “EXPLORE” TO COUNTER JUDGING SELF
How often has your Judge saboteur said to you: “You can’t do that! You don’t know enough!” The next time your Judge says something similar to you in your own mind, first do some PQ reps to shift your brain to Sage mode, then practice self-empathy, then employ the lens of the Fascinated Anthropologist.
While I cannot predict exactly what your own Sage will say in response, here is a real-life example of what I myself have heard from Sage when utilizing the Fascinated Anthropologist as my power guide: “You may not have done this before, but you are a quick learner and you’ve been successful in the past.” “They want you to succeed.” “Take it one step at a time and follow your curiosity.”
USE “EXPLORE” TO COUNTER JUDGING OTHERS
I have learned that judgment of others’ opinions and situations serves me well when it is truly Sage discernment, not negative judgment. What is the difference? Negative judgment is rooted in negative emotions and the narrow-minded lens of the saboteurs. Sage discernment is grounded in empathy and curiosity.
How do you typically respond when you hear someone state a political point of view that is quite different from your own? If anger, frustration, sadness, or worry fuel your saboteur mind to state how obviously wrong they are and clearly how right you are, then your Judge is controlling your mind. If, instead, when you hear their opinion, you do some PQ reps and shift to Sage, you will first notice that you don’t feel the negative emotions as strongly. Instead, you will be aware of the difference in opinion the two of you hold. This is Sage discernment. What comes next is using the Explore power to be curious to learn more.
Put on the hat of the Fascinated Anthropologist and explore with open questions and curiosity:
What beliefs are behind their point of view?
What life experiences helped to shape their political views?
How strongly or consistently do they adhere to this viewpoint?
Why is it important to them that others also share their view?
What results will rarely be a conversion of you deciding to change your opinion. Instead, you may feel less negative and stressed and judgmental about them. You may have an understanding and appreciation of who they are and what they believe. And you may come to better understand yourself and what has helped to shape your own beliefs and opinions.
This example is about political points of view, but you can use the Explore power and the Fascinated Anthropologist as power guides to examine any situation in which you find yourself judging others.
USE “EXPLORE” TO COUNTER JUDGING CIRCUMSTANCES
Any circumstance can be judged through the saboteur lens: a weather event, change of plans, gain or loss of opportunity, change to a tax law, global pandemic, a long commute, anything. Any single circumstance or event is neutral until your mind assigns a qualitative judgment of the degree to which it is good or bad.
When you notice you are experiencing negative emotions due to a saboteur’s influence or your Judge’s interpretation, pause. Do some PQ reps and shift to Sage. Use that same Fascinated Anthropologist lens to examine your own beliefs about the circumstances, then invite in the Sage Perspective.
For example…
Why is a rain storm a bad thing? How might the circumstances of the rain storm be converted into a gift and opportunity?
How gifts and opportunities have unexpectedly come as a result of the conditions of the global pandemic?
What thoughts in your mind are causing you to feel stressed about today’s long commute? What’s truly important in this moment? What can you let go of?
To review: any time you experience a negative emotion related to your mind’s interpretation of an event or circumstances, you can shift to Sage and utilize the Explore power to expand your view point and shift your experience.
THE BENEFITS
When you utilize the Sage Explore power to counter one or more of the Judge saboteur’s three modes of operation, you shift from a narrow or fixed way of viewing things to a more expansive state of ease and flow. While there are numerous benefits you may experience, here are some that I have experienced most often:
Reduced stress
Improved self-confidence
Getting along better with others
Generating more creative solutions to problems and challenges
In the next few weeks, I’ll share about the remaining three Sage Powers to round out your understanding of what’s possible with using the Positive Intelligence mental fitness model and activating the full array of benefits that come from shifting to and staying in Sage throughout each day of your life.
Learn More
To read about the overall Positive Intelligence model and foundational mental fitness training program, I’ve included an overview of the model on my website. To read past blog posts about the Sage Perspective and the 10 Saboteurs, start here.
*Source: Shirzad Chamine and his Positive Intelligence mental fitness model. Erin is in the process of competing her certification with Shirzad and his team.
