by Erin Owen | Dec 22, 2015 | Ezine
Before you finalize your 2016 goals, intentions, resolutions…
(1) Pause and reflect on what you are grateful for in your current life.
If you want to do more than reflect, then write it down — and be sure to include all the areas of your life that are meaningful to you. (Think of this as a list of what you want more of in life.)
(2) Let go of what you “want to want”…
By that I mean: be honest with yourself.
You may want to lose 25 pounds, but do you REALLY want to? Or is it something you feel obligated or pressured or guilted into doing?
You may want to grow your company by 30%, but do you REALLY want to? Or are you already feeling overwhelmed and you are worried about the impact it will have on your schedule, your non-work commitments and relationship, and on your overall health?
(3) Focus on your true passions.
Before you resolve to direct your time and attention to any next steps, look into your heart.
Take some easy relaxed breaths to quiet your mind. Slow down for a few moments before the end of today and ask yourself:
“What am I missing?”
“If no one else were watching, what would I really want?”
“What would give me greatest joy and fulfillment?”
It may have nothing to do with your current reality, and that’s okay. Just acknowledging it will be a relief…and it will also plant a seed of intention.
No need to worry today about the “how” of how that seed will be cultivated or grow.
For now, just be with your truth and give yourself some space to be one with your truth. Breath easy. And let go of other worries or “but”‘s or skepticism for now.
Next week I’ll share a quick 5-minute assessment you can do on your own to further clarify what you want to work on in 2016. Until then, smile and know you are on the right path. It will come with clarity, focus, attention, and follow-through!
by Erin Owen | Dec 1, 2015 | Ezine
All around me I see people living like zombies.
Hollow looks in their eyes, oblivious to their surroundings, stumbling through life, staring blankly at screens, completely missing their destination.
Are you living like a zombie?
I was. What drugged me up and zoned me out was stress, overwhelm, caffeine, sugar, alcohol, and complete disconnection with my body wisdom and my inner voice.
I slip into mini-versions of zombie life every once in awhile: I push myself too hard, I don’t sleep enough, and I get caught up again the exhaustion cycle fueled by chai-exercise-chai-alcohol-chai-exercise-chai-alcohol.
(Maybe your pattern is coffee-no exercise-coffee-Xanax/Ativan/Klonopin/benzodiazapine).
And when this happens, I catch my reflection in the mirror and wake up. “Oh, right, look at me going down this slippery slope again. Time to stop.”
The first time I stopped living like a zombie, I couldn’t hear the call to wake up until I was sick. Physically sick. It’s so often the body that breaks down when it is under tremendous stress on a regular basis. But sometimes the wake up call comes from a loved one who leaves. Or the loss of a job.
It is possible to stop living like a zombie. But it requires a conscious choice to say “enough is enough!” It takes courage. It takes support. And it takes some faith.
If you’re ready to re-enter the land of the living, let me show you the way. All it takes is a 15 minute phone call to set in motion a new path. I look forward to partnering with you to create a new way of living and working!
by Erin Owen | Nov 24, 2015 | Ezine
It was a typical busy weekend morning. I had been awake 15 minutes and already my presence was in demand from four others…
I was in my 5 year old son’s room trying to help him get dressed. He was dancing around, acting like his beautiful silly self, when I noticed my patience about to break.
“Miles, can you please stop dancing around?”
“Why, Mommy?”
“Zoe is barking because she needs to go out. Ian wants me to help him with his computer. You asked me to help me get dressed. But, I haven’t even made my own tea or had a glass of water or even my breakfast.”
Then he laid it on me. Those wise-beyond-years words that this gift-of-a-child often lays on me…
“Oh! So even you need you!”
“Yes, Miles, even Mommy needs Mommy.”
Here’s wishing you some relaxed time to be present with those you love and those who love you–including yourself!
by Erin Owen | Nov 17, 2015 | Ezine
If you’ve followed my writing for awhile, you know I’m a fan of doing less and getting better results – including having more satisfaction in life.
Well, it turns out that finding a way to work fewer hours – especially for working parents – and doubly so for working mothers – is critical for feeling like we’re able to more successfully juggle the complexities of modern life.
How do working parents share the load when children are part of the picture? When both parents work full-time (a situation which has increased from 31% in 1970 to 46% of married or partnered households today), who takes care of sick children? Who plays with the kids? Who handles household chores? Who disciplines? Recently, an Atlantic magazine article titled “The Secret to Work-Life Balance: Less Work” highlighted the results of a study by the Pew Research Center.
Among the findings? 40% of moms who work full-time say they feel rushed all the time! And 39% say they spend too little time with their kids. What about moms who work part-time? Only 29% say they feel rushed all the time and 77% feel they spend the right amount of time with their children.
I’m grateful to count myself among the 77%. I know this reality because it’s the one I’ve created for myself: that of a full-time business owner and full-time mom who works variable hours that are mostly part-time. I have made the choice to not work full-time during the years when my children were babies or in preschool. And now that my youngest is heading to kindergarten, I am slowly increasing my hours.
Regardless of whether you have children or, if you do, what age they are: I invite you to take a look at the results of this study and ask yourself: do I find it difficult to balance family life with work life? If you’re a working dad, ask yourself: do I feel you spend the right amount of time with my children?
When you step back to evaluate your satisfaction level with the most important pieces of your life, it helps you to make more conscious choices about your career and your work hours. And please don’t forget to keep in mind the top 5 regrets of the dying:
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
If you need a partner in figuring out how to transition from your current situation to one that is more satisfying, contact me. In the past 12 years, I’ve worked with hundreds of clients to make small, manageable changes that significantly improve quality of life; and some clients have made some pretty huge leaps that have resulted in dramatic changes and amazing new lifestyles that mirror the vision they always had for their ideal life.
by Erin Owen | Nov 10, 2015 | Ezine
What do you commit to? What do you reject? My client Karen graciously allowed me to share with you her recent writings. I hope her words inspire you!
“I hereby reject “exhausting busyness” as way of life that is inescapable.
I commit to…
…learning all I can about how to break out of this habituated feeling of overwhelm. I will train myself how to enjoy my life more, and to move at a pace that is sustainable and measured and contributes to a sense of longevity, wellness and ease.
… time to bathe and clean and dress myself leisurely and to enjoy the process of dressing in clothing that looks and feels good and will be good to move around in all day.
… being aware of how many times a day I check my email, as well as how many times I try to multi-task with digital technology, like checking email while I am stopped at red lights or while I am at home in the evening. I will commit to staying with the sense of reactivity I experience when I receive an email, and the tendency I have to respond immediately. I will recognize that bio-chemically, I am wired for that rush of new information, and that my instant response gives me a sense of accomplishment and alleviates some anxiety to have “completed” the task. However, I will recognize that by allowing myself to be pulled away from the projects I am currently working on, I am splitting my energy and losing focus. I will remember that multi-tasking is an energy -suck, and results in poorer performance and higher levels of stress.
… reasonably long lunch breaks to eat, relax, engage in creative thought, connect with family and friends.
… some time before sleep to consciously get comfortable and ready for a deep, restful evening.
… listening to wise teachers’ talks and meditations as I am going to sleep so that my conscious and unconscious minds are taking in the positive reinforcement that they need.
… pursuing comedy and the dramatic arts – and continuing to explore how those passions could show up in my work and my expression of life.”
Guest blogger: Karen Meshkov, amazing human being, business owner, brand new mom (congrats, Karen and husband Matt!). Karen has been Erin’s client since January 2015. Check out her LinkedIn recommendation of Erin at the bottom of Erin’s LinkedIn profile.
