by Erin Owen | Feb 1, 2016 | Ezine
When faced with exhaustion and overwhelm, there can be the sense that everything has to change. Your work, your relationships, your living situation, your weight, and on and on.
And yet that feels even more overwhelming. And so you shut down.
But what if you imagined the teeniest tiniest step you could take in a slightly different direction. And then break that step down into 3 even smaller steps, and what does that leave? Then take the first of those 3 smaller steps and break that small steps into 3 steps and so on.
Do this until the result is as small as one single step that a centipede might take, or one wing flap of a hummingbird, or one downward blink of your eyelid.
Start here, with the tiniest of steps. Take a breath. Complete it. Take another breath and decide: is that enough for now? Or, do I want to take the next teeniest tiniest step?
You choose.
Transforming your life can be overwhelming. But you don’t have to do it all at once. Start infinitesimally small. And breathe.
by Erin Owen | Jan 25, 2016 | Ezine
Believe it or not, I resist accountability. I do everything I can to not create measurable goals and not have to follow through on my goals.
Why? Part of my nature is a perfectionist and my inner perfectionist does not like to be criticized. So if I am not working toward something, then how can I be held accountable for it? (Avoidance strategy obtained!)
You too may have your own inner saboteur. Does he, she, or it have a name? If you have examined your Internal Board of Directors, then you might know exactly who that is and how to transform that into a positive and productive part of your whole being.
I renamed my perfectionist as my “Quality Control Expert.” I give her time and space to provide her input, and I give her input strong consideration. But she does not run the show. I’ve also learned to not completely ignore her, because the result is I get really sloppy with my goals and I fail to perform at my optimum level.
The result? Empowered Goal Setting!
I put on my Creator hat and ask the following questions: [Follow along and you can do this for yourself!]
What results is great clarity about how I can be excited about taking the necessary steps to be successful with my goals. And the details that come from answering these questions often translate into a SMART goal.
S = Specific (I know exactly what I’m aiming for.)
M = Measurable (It’s clear how I will qualitatively and quantitatively know I have reached my goal.)
A = Attainable (It’s realistic and I know I have the time and support to make it happen.)
R = Relevant (It directly aligns with and supports my vision, and it makes sense for me to do this at this time in my life or business.)
T = Timed/Timely (There is a clear time-related deadline and it will be best to do it at the specific time.)
Here’s to you elevating yourself out of shifty and sloppy goal setting to a new level of energized, empowered goal setting AND successful execution!
by Erin Owen | Jan 18, 2016 | Ezine
I’ve noticed that my five year old can sleep soundly in a room with the lights on, the radio blaring, and people talking in the background. But if I turn out the light, turn off the radio, and close the door, he wakes up in just a few minutes. I myself have had this experience, when sleeping… and in life.
Have you?
If there is a seemingly-never-ending stretch of insanely busy days, with no room to catch your breath, you can go on for awhile. You push through. You push past any discomfort. The cacophony of intensity drowns out your inner voice.
It’s only when you slow down a bit, or are forced by something more significant to hit the brakes, that you can finally hear your inner voice.
I’ve found it’s easier to hear my inner voice when I make the choice to slow down. Sit and have a cup of tea. Go for a walk. Experience a yoga class. Write down highlights from my day. Play with my kids.
But if I am forced by difficult circumstances to stop suddenly, then it’s like someone has taken the volume dial for my inner voice and cranked it up so loudly that I either can’t bear to hear it or would prefer to jump back into the cacophony to avoid hearing it.
Am I alone, or have you too experienced this?
When I guide clients inward to quiet their minds and hear their inner voices they are often happily surprised at what they learn and affirm. If you have not done this in awhile, I strongly recommend it. I do this with clients on regular coaching calls, as well as in a much longer and more powerful way during retreat days.
If you missed last week’s email that explained the special promotion I’m offering in January only, you can learn more here.
Here’s to you waking up to your inner brilliance!
by Erin Owen | Jan 11, 2016 | Ezine
I know, I know, another Star Wars reference. But here’s where my philosophy is different from Yoda’s. I feel it’s important to embrace your dark side.
Take 30 seconds and do this**:
–>Draw a circle with at least a 4-inch diameter.
–>Along the outer edges of the circle, write words that describe your qualities–both the good (the “light”) and the not-so-good (the “dark”).
All these parts of you are valid. And they have an important role to play in different circumstances in your life. (Within reason, of course: I’m not condoning qualities like “murderous”.) And your contrasting qualities—like when you are sometimes generous and sometimes stingy—need one another: like yin and yang, they are part of the whole. Your whole.
Example: I am super organized. But sometimes the piles build and the disorder gets unruly: that’s when I know something is brewing. Either a new idea, an untapped emotion, or a shift in my life or business.
[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”lifted-both” width=”autopx” height=”” background_color=”#ffffff” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]“Without suffering there’s no happiness. So we shouldn’t discriminate against the mud. We have to learn how to embrace and cradle our own suffering and the suffering of the world, with a lot of tenderness.”*[/dropshadowbox]
You can embrace your mud (your dark side) by looking inside to learn who and what voices are influencing your emotions, thoughts, and actions. Each one of us has an Internal Board of Directors, and sometimes one or more of the voices in your inner board room are playing a negative role. Or at least that’s how you perceive it.
[dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”lifted-both” width=”autopx” height=”” background_color=”#ffffff” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]“One way of taking care of our suffering is to invite a seed of the opposite nature to come up. As nothing exists without its opposite, if you have a seed of arrogance, you have also a seed of compassion. Every one of us has a seed of compassion. If you practice mindfulness of compassion every day, the seed of compassion in you will become strong. You need only concentrate on it and it will come up as a powerful zone of energy. Naturally, when compassion comes up, arrogance goes down. You don’t have to fight it or push it down. We can selectively water the good seeds and refrain from watering the negative seeds.”*[/dropshadowbox]
When I guide clients through the Internal Board of Directors exercise, they learn who sits at their board table–and they learn how to transform any “negative” voices into positive and productive players.
You do have the power to transform your life. Embracing your dark side is part of a natural process of building self-awareness and harnessing that awareness to make positive change
*Source: Thich Nhat Hahn in his book No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering
**Thanks to Maria Sirois, PsyD, for the inspiration for this exercise.
by Erin Owen | Dec 29, 2015 | Ezine
Are you leading the life you want?
This simple 3-step exercise* is designed as a quick check-in you can do in 5 minutes or less.
(*Inspired by Stew Friedman’s “Four-Way View” exercise from the Total Leadership™ program.)
Step 1: Rate the Priority Level of each area of your life as follows:
“1” = Highest Priority
“2” = Somewhat of a priority
“3” = Not at all a priority
Step 2: Next, estimate how many minutes (on average) you dedicate to each area of your life each day. If you spend 90 min/day cultivating relationships, write “90 ” for Relationships & Communication. If you spend 15 minutes in the morning planning your day and 15 minutes at night reviewing your daily checklist, write “30” for Time Management & Personal Organization.
Step 3: How well are you performing? Grade yourself! For each area, write down one of the following letter grades:
A = You are dedicating an appropriate amount of time and energy to this pillar of your life.
B = This pillar needs some work.
C = The situation is dismal.
The result? This 3-step assessment will give you an idea of how well your life is in alignment—meaning the degree to which you are directing your time and energy to what is most important to you.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU RATED ANY AREAS WITH “B” OR “C”?
Self-motivated? Great! Write down one small step you can take today to begin to bring your life into greater alignment. Ask a friend or colleague to hold you accountable.
Need a bit more guidance? Pick up a copy of one of these books to learn specific strategies you can employ on your own: Refuel Recharge and Re-energize: Your Guide to Taking Back Control of Your Time and Energy by Erin Owen (on Amazon.com), Boost Your Performance In and Out of the Office by Erin Owen (exclusively on ErinOwen.com), or Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life by Stew Friedman (on Amazon.com).
Want more accountability and structure so you follow-through and see some results? Schedule a 15-minute call with Erin Owen to clarify what you’d like to see change and learn how partnering with a coach can literally and positively transform your life. Connect@ErinOwen.com 215-771-8968.
