by Erin Owen | Dec 29, 2020 | Ezine
As we fast approach the end of 2020, I wish you a happy new year! And as you look ahead to 2021, I invite you to read the lessons I learned from surfing just a couple weeks ago, perhaps to inspire you as you move into 2021.
Lesson #1:
You’re never too old to try something new.
On my first trip to Bali, my friends Angela and Madeline took surfing lessons. I sat on shore and thought to myself “they are crazy.” Years later, I said “why not?” If I can learn to surf, what else new can I try? I am inspired. And I hope you are too.
Lesson #2:
Feel the fear, then breathe deeply, paddle, stop, stand, surf. Amazing!
By focusing on just one step at a time and being present in only this moment I did it. I breathed, I took it one step at a time, and I did it. Well, sometimes I did it, then fell, but it was fun. It’s all about taking it one step at a time. Such a great reminder for anything in life.
Lesson #3:
Waves are not waves. They are the result of energy moving through water. Wow!
If you’ve been on my list for years and years, then you remember when the first principle I taught you was that “everything is energy.” I truly experienced that with my time in the ocean in Costa Rica and body surfing, and then learning to surf with a surf board. By being present with my breath and moving my energy with the energy moving through the water, the surfing was smooth and peaceful and fun. When I had fear or tried to go against that energy, I fell or did not feel in rhythm with the energy of life. Amazing!
I hope by sharing the lessons I learned from surfing you’ve found some reminders and discoveries for yourself that you can take into 2021. And if you’re looking for coaching support to carry you along with the energy of your life (and to stop pushing), let’s talk!
by Erin Owen | Dec 24, 2020 | Ezine
The biggest gift of covid quarantine this past year was more time with my kids. My experiment to shift my work schedule to Mon-Tues-Wed (and be offline as much as I could on Thurs-Sun) was a complete and total success. It yielded so many wonderful memories and stronger relationships with my older son Ian and younger son Miles. I was reminded of the intentionality required to be truly present with them. And my mental fitness practice of PQ reps helped me to stay grounded and not get emotionally triggered when normal conflict arose in the household.
As we near the end of the year, I reflect back on so many unexpected twists and turns that have now forever shaped my entire life, my family, my work, my relationships, and how I care for my health. I could have never predicted nor chosen how this past year has turned out, and yet I honestly would not change it.
My Deepest Gratitude Goes to:
- My health – as a foundation for all
- Family
- Freedom to travel (where allowed)
- The amazing work I get to do with the world’s best clients
- Future possibilities
Even if you experienced unexpected challenges and hardship this past year, what are you grateful for? I’d love to hear from you!
by Erin Owen | Dec 15, 2020 | Ezine
It’s been one hell of a year. Unless you’re one of the millionaires or billionaires that grew your wealth in 2020, you likely experienced financial stress along with emotional strain, relationship challenges, and career difficulties. And if your health was affected this year, in any way, I sincerely hope you have fully recovered!
To support you in not just surviving through the end of the year, but truly THRIVING as you transition to 2021, I’m sharing 3 robust tips you can use today and each day in each moment that brings up negative emotions. Read on to find the one golden nugget that could really change things for you in the next few days and weeks. And if you’d like to dig in further with my support, click the button below to sign up now for one of my new complimentary Saboteur Diagnosis coaching sessions.
Stop Avoiding. Start Prioritizing for Impact. Engage. And Thrive.
If your m.o. is usually to be super flexible and work to keep the peace with others, but that leaves you putting your own needs last and feeling like you & your relationships are suffering, try one of the following approaches.
TIP #1: Prioritize and Engage
Make a list of the conflicts you’ve been avoiding. Seriously. Stop right now and do this.
Then, rank them in order of importance — perhaps related to how important the corresponding relationship is for you.
Start at the top with #1 and start address each one, one at a time, starting today. Yes, today! Why? The sooner you do so, the less mental and physical energy you’ll waste on worrying and procrastinating. As soon as you tend to each one, you’ll release a well-spring of energy and feel better. I promise. Do it!
TIP #2: Say No and Address Conflict Head-on in a Healthy Way
If one of the top 3 conflicts involves you needing to say “no”, but it’s hard for you to say so, practice saying “Thanks for thinking of me” or “Thanks for offering your ideas and suggestions”. Then say “After some consideration, I’ve decided….” [then fill in the blank for what is best for you in this situation].
If another of the top conflicts is challenging for you to resolve, try out sharing that with the other(s) involved. For example: “This is a really challenging situation for me. I notice that I’m feeling worried that this will hurt our relationship and I really want us to get along. You are important to me. Can we talk about what’s going on, even if it’s hard to do so?”
TIP #3: Energize Yourself with Creativity to Remove Blocks and Thrive
Perhaps one of the conflicts you’ve been avoiding is within yourself. Maybe it involves making a decision, or moving forward with a project that has long been weighing on your mind. Whatever it is, you feel stuck. Contemplate this initial question to leverage your strengths: “How can I be flexible about this situation in a good way, and bring in some fresh creative energy to look at and approach it differently?” Then ask yourself: “What can I let go of that will give me more room to consider different possibilities?”
If it’s a decision you are putting off, ask yourself this simple series of questions: “What’s the wildest and crazy thing I could decide to do in this situation?” Then ask yourself: “What’s the absolute worst thing I could decide to do?” And finally: “And in truth, what makes the most sense for me to decide at this time?”
By looking at things in a different way and shining on a light on the extremes, you can bring forth clarity for an answer or a small next step that feels right for you.
At the core of shifting from a surviving mindset to a THRIVING one, is shifting the way you look at things and tapping into positive emotions, creativity and other strengths you possess. When you hear your inner voice saying “this will not work” or “this is too simple and my situation Is different and too complex”, know that this is your old survival brain voice working to make things more difficult for you. To learn more about to quiet the negative survival voices in your head, sign up now for one of my new complimentary Saboteur Diagnosis coaching sessions.
Here’s to you bringing out more of your best self and THRIVING into and beyond the end of 2020.
by Erin Owen | Dec 1, 2020 | Ezine
Are you doing okay? If not, reach out. To me. Or to someone else who you feel comfortable talking to.
While there is a bit less uncertainty with the U.S. presidential election results clear and the stock markets doing better, there is still so much unknown in the world.
This graphic and this post inspired by a post from @RexChapman on Twitter. We made some additions to the graphic to connect the dots to the PQ (Positive Intelligence) mental fitness model.
by Erin Owen | Nov 24, 2020 | Ezine
On Thursday afternoon last week, my family of four landed at San Jose Airport in Costa Rica. The country of Costa Rica officially welcomed all citizens of the United States starting November 1st, and arriving in this country signifies an important milestone of a dream long held.
Long before my sons were born, my husband and I dreamed of taking our future children abroad for a year to expose them to another culture. After many years, we revisited that dream and re-envisioned it as a family gap year that would involve visiting several countries.
Over many date night brainstorms, we allowed space for the dream to evolve while in parallel we discussed ways we could change how each of us worked to allow us to be more flexible, working online with reduced hours while traveling. All along the way, we received tremendous support and encouragement from friends and family, which was such a gift.
In January 2020, we officially decided “let’s go for it!” We allowed our full excitement to flow through us and made some concrete decisions that would set things in motion — including deciding to put our house up for sale and also to postpone my older son’s entry to high school for one year, knowing that we would world-school both boys throughout our travel.
All of this was before the covid-19 lockdown started in mid-March where we live. As we became aware of the implications of the quarantine on travel, I initially went into a grief-life depression as I grappled to find solid ground under my feet. How could we not go? How could we not pursue our long-held dream? I went back into therapy — with two therapists using different modalities — and pulled myself back from the edge. I knew I had to continue being a wife, a mom, a coach to my clients, and run my business as best I could with all the unexpected changes and restrictions.
And then two things happened: my coaching colleague and dear friend Lucy invited me to join her and two other colleagues in taking a mental fitness course. And about a month after that, my husband said something so simple it gave me permission to remove the complexity of all the contingency and scenario planning. He said: “we’re going… unless we don’t.”
If you’ve read my newsletters these past few months, you already know the incredible impact the mental fitness course has had on me and my clients. That, combined with this statement from Matt turned everything around.
I was able to shift my mindset away from loss and grief and a profound sense of ground-less-ness to… excitement and curiosity for what was possible. What could we do? Where could we go? How could we reinvent our original plan?
I’ll skip over the numerous versions of plans that followed this shift, and share what has actually happened since that shift…
We traveled in July to visit my family in Iowa, then back East for August and September visiting Philadelphia, Downeast Maine and Philadelphia again. Owing to the graciousness and generosity of friends in Colorado, we then experienced 6 glorious weeks staying on their beautiful wooded property at 9,000 feet above sea level. We took weekend trips to Moab Utah, Aspen and Crested Butte Colorado and many other day trips around the Denver and front range area. We affirmed our deep love of Colorado and plan to retire there.
It became clear by September how much we viewed every single day as a gift. We were — and have been — in a state of amazement that “wow, this is really happening”. We have been blessed with more connection with extended family, following restrictions that kept us all safe and healthy. We’ve been able to provide concrete, tangible help to my parents to recover from significant damage caused by the derecho storm and also helped our friends in Colorado with a wildfire mitigation project on their property.
And now… we are beginning the first (and hopefully not the last) international experience of our family gap year. My children will have the opportunity to build their Spanish language skills as we live in a small fishing village on the NW Pacific coast of Costa Rica. We’ll also continue to learn more about how climate and weather changes are impacting the world and local ecology — just as we have in Iowa (with the derecho) and Colorado (with wildfires).
While we’ve been warned that the WiFi is not as reliable, we are grateful that modern technology and laptops allow us to continue our work and support our children’s learning while we travel. It will definitely be a month to remember.
Where we will go after winter holidays? We have many ideas and wait to see what unfolds on the world stage that may influence our decision. In the meantime, we stay present to the joys of daily discoveries offered to us in our nomadic life.
I share my experience to inspire you. Whatever dream or hope you hold in your heart — no matter how small or big — know that when you shift your mindset to one of excitement and possibility, you reduce your stress and anxiety and thus activate your best qualities of creativity and resourcefulness. Invite friends and family to support you in brainstorming what is possible.
