If you’ve been reading my newsletters these past few months, then you know I did something quite unusual in September: I went camping in nature on my own for 3 days and nights. Prior to committing to this initiation in nature, I had previously only camped once as an adult—and that was with my husband and the full support of two experts who packed and carried all our gear. This time around, I was on my own.
Why did I decide to step way outside my expertise and comfort zone and do this?
In what ways did I push my boundaries and handle the challenges I encountered?
What lesson did I learn from stepping out of my comfort zone?
Read on to learn more, and perhaps you too will be inspired to create your own stretch experience to cultivate your resilience and grow as a leader.
The “WHY”
Back in February when I first came across information about the nature solo, every fiber in my being said: YES! DO THIS! Rationally it did not make sense. I owned exactly zero pieces of camping equipment, had almost no camping experience, and had never spent a night alone in nature. Oh, and did I mention that I had only recently finished physical therapy and was still building back my strength after struggling with some upper back problems? Would I seriously commit to haul all my gear at 7,000’ altitude and live on my own in the wild for 72 hours? Yet, the solitude, the call of the land, and the waiting gift of no emails and no responsibilities, was seriously appealing to me. After a brief conversation with my husband to confirm he was 100% supportive and happy to steer the household ship for a week, I signed up.
What Boundaries did I Push?
Each of us has our own comfort zone, and so our boundaries will also be different. Yes, I had previously climbed Kilimanjaro, and yes, I had previously lived and worked in China, but that was all years ago before children and being my own boss. In this case, my boundaries were more internal. The following questions and self-doubt arose in my mind:
Could I trust myself and my capabilities?
How would I handle any fears that arose without a friend, peer coach, or partner I could talk to?
What about no cell reception coupled with wild animals?
What about the complexities of back-to-school season?
Am I really going to leave my husband and kids on their own just 3 days after the school year has begun?
It turned out that the six months of preparation were all part of self-discovery and overcoming self-doubt. Each time I researched and purchased another piece of equipment, I would pause: am I really doing this? I’m not someone who camps, and yet here I am getting ready to do this! I had to remind myself of the full support and excitement my husband had for me, and practice letting go of any fictionalized scenarios that would start playing out in my mind. Ultimately, the bigger boundaries I pushed were woven into the challenges I faced on the ground – or I should say on the mountain and boulders of the northern New Mexican desert-meets-forest terrain where I camped.
How I Managed The Challenges, Fears, and Rain
Most of the challenges I encountered were internal: struggling with my own thoughts, fears, and doubts, most of which were not real. When I first signed up for the nature solo, my understanding of the “wildlife” in the area was that there wasn’t much – and definitely no bears or wolves or anything scary like that – and that in all the years of people camping on the land there had never been a problem. Soon after arriving at the base camp, however, in the preparatory debrief I was told that due to the prior year’s fire that burned the 300,000+ surrounding acres, there were now many more animals on the land, including lynx, bobcat, coyotes, bears, deer, elk … and many more animals. I imagine if there had been a video replay of that moment, my eyes would have looked like they were four times their usual size. Gulp. I was given instructions on how to keep any food in a sealed container far away from my tent, and how to dig a latrine and bury waste, all to keep the animals away.
Prior to departing on the trip, I had been advised to do some research on how to hang a bear bag, an odor-proof bag (or can) that bears cannot reach. But since there were no bears, I did not bother to learn how. Without a cell phone or the internet – did I mention that I was completely free of technology for those 72 hours? – I tapped into my early childhood tree climbing and knot-tying skills to MacGyver a solution. [MacGyver is a reference to a 1980s US television show that featured a main character who could make or repair anything using incredible ingenuity and creativity.] In the process of scaling the trees with few branches, I did earn quite a few scrapes and scratches that first morning on my campsite, and was grateful to have taken along a first aid kid that I quickly put to use. But, I did it! And it worked well as a solution for my whole time on solo, and those two trees between which hung my rope and bag of food, quickly became my outdoor kitchen and bathroom area, which I visited at least 3 times a day as part of a daily routine that quickly and very naturally took shape.
During part of the trip, wild animal sounds, torrent rainfall and the darkness of the dead of the night induced feelings of sheer terror inside of me. My adrenaline, fear and racing mind were my biggest enemies. Using tools such as yogic breathing practices (pranayama), visualization, mantras, self-story-telling, singing, and more I attempted to manage my fears. After six long hours of a cacophony of grunts, growls, snorting, and squeals, I thankfully made it through the night alive without actually seeing or being directly bothered by an animal. Then came the pounding rain for 24-hours straight making it challenging to do anything including eating. I did feel well prepared with my rain gear, the tent’s rainfly and an extra camp tarp my intuition kept bugging me to buy (thank you gut!). But the reality of living life fully outside when it was raining was rather perilous, and made me grateful for the cozy home inside my tent.
The Lesson
I laughed a lot at myself that next morning and felt great relief at being able to discover that I had only been prey to my own fears, not some fictionalized coyote-bear-deer-monster. I took further pause to pat myself on the back for braving the elements and inclement weather. For me, this was a real lesson in the power of the mind to make things up and make situations worse. It had me thinking about the quote from Seneca, “We suffer more in our imagination more often that in reality.” I know it is something that my coaching clients frequently struggle with when they are stressed, lacking confidence, missing information, or struggling with the shenanigans of their own mental saboteurs. It’s an important lesson to learn: when our brains and bodies go into that ‘Fight or Flight’ response, we need to use the tools I mentioned above to regulate our nervous systems and quiet our mind, body and spirit.
How I Grew
My confidence and trust in myself grew tremendously throughout the preparation and actual solo experience. The experience of facing my fears, being able to laugh at myself, and successfully handle all the challenges that arose has resulted in me appreciating and loving myself more. As I was able to observe a need, creatively utilize what was available to me in my surroundings, and take action to either solve a problem or create something new, a type of seamless creative flow was affirmed. I’ve noticed since I returned that I am clearer and more decisive, and also, I am approaching new challenges with greater ease and less worry.
Nature used to be something I went to on a hike, or looked out the window to see. Now, I know in my bones that I am nature and nature is me: we are not separate; we are one. I have a more innate sense of the time of day and a sense of changing weather. In fact, I am no longer annoyed at the weather, nor consider rain an inconvenience. I simply notice what the weather is doing and live in sync with it, changing my attire and footwear if needed. I feel incredibly closely connected to nature now.
Overall, I feel inspired and impressed by nature, and am noticing a renewed interest in bringing my rising leader clients closer to nature as a way to grow their self-awareness, confidence, and problem-solving skills. While I have no current plans to revive my Bali retreats, I do notice some type of seed has been planted within me that I anticipate will bear fruit in the form of a new offering for clients in the future. As numerous life and career transformations resulted for my clients who accompanied me to Bali over the years, imagine what might result from a leadership growth retreat that involved some type of nature solo? Hmmm….
When you rise above the distractions and stresses of daily life, you realize there are precious moments of life happening NOW that are worth celebrating. And being present to these moments translates to better performance in all areas of life.
Two of those moments are happening for me now.
First, my younger son Miles turns two years old today. He’s two! Can you believe it? All those years of wanting another child, suffering through miscarriages and self-doubt, all washed away.
He is here now and he is an incredible source of joy, laughter, mischievousness, and curiosity in our lives. Thank god for Miles!
Second, I leave for Bali tomorrow. I’m going back to Bali, ya’all! Even though I’ll miss my family terribly, I know I’ll come back with a renewed sense of presence and grounding, as well as an incredible boost of energy and passion for my life and my business.
This year’s performance breakthrough retreat is based in two wonderful locations in the gorgeous Indonesian island paradise that is Bali. We’ll spend most of our time in the cultural center of Ubud, and our final days on the more remote northern coast where we’ll stay at a resort on the black volcanic sand beaches. How cool is that?
Even though most of you will not be joining us in Bali this time, I invite you to embrace the spirit of Bali while I’m away. To find your own precious moments amidst the intensity of modern life. To benefit from focusing your mind on what matters most.
How?
First, take a few moments to close your eyes and imagine yourself in a beautiful, natural paradise of your choosing. Maybe your mind takes you to the mountains or the desert, or to the beach or beside a lake. Feel in your body how it feels to be there, without a care in the world. Relaxing, breathing, enjoying just being alive, connected to nature.
Take this feeling with you—imagine you could bottle it up and open it at any moment in the day to return you to that joyous state of being. Allow it to shift your energy so you can be present to the magic of the daily miracles unfolding before you.
Second, do your own little ceremony around the time of the full moon on October 29th.
While in Bali, we’ll be visiting temples for purification and cleansing rituals, and doing our own ceremony to let go of the old and welcome in the new. I hope you’ll join us in spirit by doing your own at-home or in-office ceremony!
Take some time that day to set an intention for (1) What you’d like to let go of – something that no longer serves you in your life, and (2) What you’d like to welcome in – something you’ve been longing for in recent days, weeks, maybe even months.
By releasing negative feelings and letting go of obligations that you dread, you’ll be reducing your stress level and positively re-directing your energy to what you want more of in your life. That translates to being more present in your daily interactions, experiencing more joy, and performing better at work and in life. Sounds great, doesn’t it?
Third, mark your calendar. I’ll be hosting a free call about this year’s Bali retreat on Wednesday, November 14 at 12 noon Eastern time. I’ll send out another email closer to the date with details on how to register for the call.
Lastly, if you have not yet picked up a copy of my new book, check it out while I’m away! You can order a paperback version from my website or Amazon.com and have it delivered by snail mail to your preferred address. Or, you can go the green route and download a Kindle version from Amazon.com.
Either way, I know you’ll be inspired by the simple, Eastern-inspired ideas and the additional online audio and video resources that are a part of Recharge, Refuel, and Re-energize: Your Guide to Taking Back Control of Your Time and Energy.
In between temple visits and massages, visits to healers and yoga & meditation, I’ll be checking my email and would love to hear from you! Contact me by email and share your thoughts on my new book!
And remember…
I want you to be successful, so you can make a positive impact on the world. And I want you to be able to do this with a sense of ease, joy, and steady focus. (Because when you feel good, that translates to better performance and better results!)
When was the last time you had your alignment checked?
No – not your car’s alignment. YOUR alignment.
You probably know when your car needs an alignment:
The tires are wearing unevenly
Your car pulls significantly to one side rather than driving relatively straight
Perhaps the steering wheel even vibrates against your hand when driving
But, what are the 4 signs that YOU need an alignment?
Well, pretty similar.
You’re feeling the wear and tear physically, emotionally—and often in more than one area of your life
You feel exhausted from trying so hard—and not seeing the results you desire
There’s a lot of push back in your life—those key people in your life are complaining about your lack of follow through, not being present enough (physically or emotionally), your poor performance (at work and, dare I say—ahem—maybe even in the bedroom)
You generally feel as though you’re off-course—you took a wrong turn (or several) somewhere “back there” and you haven’t felt right since
Okay. If you’re still with me, then you have a pretty clear idea if I’m talking about you. So, stick with me and let’s go back to the car analogy for a moment…
What if you wait and see how long you can get away with taking your car in for an alignment?
When you ignore the signs, you end up needing to buy tires sooner—costing you hundreds of dollars. Rather than the $50 or $75 for the alignment itself.
You also put yourself at risk for running either off the road or into oncoming traffic.
And this affects not only you, but other drivers, cyclists who share the road, potentially even pedestrians, and property that you might crash into. Ouch!
No question that translates into a whole long list of physical, emotional, financial and legal troubles.
You and I both know you don’t want any of these pains or expenses in your life. You more than likely don’t have the time, let alone the resources to manage.
Back to YOU now.
What about you? What if you put off a personal and professional alignment?
When you ignore the signs of being out of alignment with what you truly want in your life, you:
Put your health and well-being at risk from the stress and mental anguish you experience
Risk losing the opportunity to make your dreams a reality
You actually start to believe the naysayers and negative self-talk
The longer you wait, the worse things can get.
And this doesn’t just impact you. By you being out of alignment and not generating the kind of results you want in your life and in your work, the fact is you’re also hurting me and all the other people out here.
When you are a mission-driven, conscious individual, the work you do in the world has the potential to positively change the outcomes of peoples’ lives, the health of the planet, and more. Not to mention the colleagues, employees, customers, clients, and others in your network that depend on you.
We need you. The world needs you. The REAL you inside you. (Not the you that is out of alignment, sitting by the roadside, waiting for a tow truck and a lawyer.)
How to know for sure if you’re out of alignment?
Here are some important questions to ask yourself:
Are you making choices that support what you truly want in your life?
Are you directing your attention toward what you want more of?
Are you only saying yes to what supports your vision?
Are you investing in yourself and spending money in support of your dreams, values and principles?
Are you spending time with those people who believe in you and support what you truly want for yourself and the world?
Are you giving yourself permission to shift your priorities and dedicate some time to what makes you happy, rekindles that spark inside of you, and brings more joy to the world?
If you answered NO to two or more of the questions above, then it’s time for an alignment. A personal and professional alignment.
And it just so happens that I’m an alignment specialist. With expertise in change management, business, alternative health and nutrition, Eastern philosophy, and much more. The kinds of things you need for getting yourself on track—or back on track—toward living your life with zest and impact.
I assess your alignment during an initial breakthrough coaching session. (Or a tune-up session, if we’ve worked together in the past.)
And, deep down inside, you know it’s time. For you. And for the planet. We need you.
Here’s how I’ll help you get back in alignment.
You share your background and what’s been going on with you, while I give you my full and undivided attention for 45 minutes. I then share my observations and insights on what is out of alignment. Then, together we lay out the specific steps you need to take to get you back in alignment.
Those next steps might involve things you can do on your own—with or without the support of friends, family, colleagues. Those next steps might involve continuing to receive my support in one of my coaching programs.
Either way, you’ll have the CLARITY and the CONFIDENCE to begin taking SPECIFIC and POSITIVE steps forward to get back on track.
Doesn’t that sound good? If so, use the discount code word “Breakthrough” when you click on this link to make your payment. You’ll then get an email to your In Box with a link to scheduling our coaching session in my online calendar. It’s that simple.
And if you’re inspired to take action NOW, then I encourage you to do so right away. (I only have a few openings left this week before I leave next Tuesday the 23rd for my annual retreat in Bali.) Otherwise, we can do it after I get back.
Here’s a virtual toast to YOU performing at your OPTIMUM level, so you can make an incredibly POSITIVE mark on our world—all while enjoying your life and having a good time doing it. Amen!
Even though I try to be present and mindful each day in my life – with my children, with my husband, with my clients – I often find it’s really hard to be present with myself.
As a business owner, who is responsible for all aspects of my business, there is no room for me to be forgetful or let things slip. If I do, then it directly impacts the quality of support I provide my clients, and directly impacts my bottom line – yes, the dollars of course, but more importantly, my ability to help you make a positive impact on the world.
And with my children and home responsibilities, it’s the same. My two boys, my husband, even my dog – they need to eat and they need my attention and love. There is no time, other when they are sleeping, that I am not acutely aware of what they need from me.
For all the rewards and freedoms of having my own business, sometimes it can be exhausting. And yet, when a sad event – like the loss of a long-time family friend – occurs, it forces me to stop everything and be fully present to myself. It puts things in perspective.
This weekend, I was back home in Iowa, for a visitation and memorial service. The woman who passed away is inextricably linked with most of my experiences and memories of childhood. She was the mom of the family of 5 children who lived next door.
Where I grew up, the back yards were open to one another. There were frequent spontaneous multi-family gatherings after-work and on weekends. The families were connected child-to-child, parent-to-parent, and child-to-parent, within and between families. It was my own experience of being raised by a village.
I’m just now realizing the significance of being raised in such a tight-knit community, and appreciating the positive influence this other mom (Pat) had on me in childhood and adolescence. And – even with a regular mindful yoga practice and time built into my schedule to just “be” – I’m also realizing how infrequently I pause to check-in with my emotional state.
It’s critically important to be in tune with yourself, because how you feel affects how you think and the choices you make – in your business and in your life. In yoga, we talk about aligning thoughts words and actions. Really, this is bigger – it’s about feelings, affecting thoughts, words and actions.
And here’s what this has to do with YOU and the work I’m here to do in the world. You need support. Not just to design business systems and ways to build your pipeline for new customers and clients. Not just to manage cash flow and be consistent in implementing your latest great idea.
You need support as a whole person. Because, as someone who is responsible for your own bottom line, you are the engine of your business. If you lose your passion (your spark), if you lose your focus, it shows up in each conversation, each email, each decision. For better and for worse.
When I work with my clients – whether individually or in a group – I work with the whole person, not just the business owner. We address your state of mind and your physical well-being. We look at your personal organization and time management practices. We even look at your relationships and your spiritual practice. And because it is quite common that the way my clients are feeling impacts business results, we talk about that quite openly.
Like when I supported my client through the last stages of divorce so he could keep his engineering practice going.
Or how I’ve supported a number of clients through and beyond the empty nest stage as they re-direct their attention and energy to themselves and realizing their visions.
Or with my women clients who struggle with keeping their businesses running strong when their hearts are more closely tied with their growing children.
Most coaches and consultants don’t acknowledge the whole human being that is you – the engine behind your business. Some don’t have the capacity or experience or interest to do so. And some simply don’t feel comfortable “crossing that line” with supporting clients in this way. But, I do.
If you’re ready to receive the full support of someone who gets it from personal experience – and from working with hundreds of business leaders, entrepreneurs, and private individuals – then I invite you to take the first step and meet with me by phone for an initial coaching session.
First, my younger son Miles turns two years old today. He’s two! Can you believe it? All those years of wanting another child, suffering through miscarriages and self-doubt, all washed away.